Listen, think and talk...

"Those who know don’t speak, and those who speak don’t know" – Lao Tzu

In this generation of which people’s opinion matters, most of us are abusive on the freedom that we have. We comment on what we see, smell, hear, taste or feel even if it doesn’t make a lot of sense at all. We tend to be irrational and irresponsible at times, and most of the time does that, simply to have fun of someone. With this, our out-spoken opinion could lead to good or bad judgment.

The phrase "I’m entitled to my opinion" is overrated! But most of us do is talk before we think. A word said can be fatal than a sword – so it wouldn’t be bad if we be rational first before we said a word. When we’re emotional, we lose the most common of all senses and neglect the fact that people who said something mean to us have feelings too, so firing negative words as revenge only leads to a cycle of pain.

I’m not saying we should suppress our thoughts or feelings; it’s a matter of being responsible on the privilege that we have. It’s more of being mindful on every word that we say. Tone and timing is the key. We are responsible on everything we say, and if we become responsible on what we say, we become good listeners, thus can lead to proper communication.

One thing I’ve learned is, before you say something about what the person wears, looks, smell and skin tone…think first if what you’ll say is substantial. True enough: "If you have nothing good to say, better keep your mouth shut!". Empty words only come from an empty mind.

Can’t make her say “yes” for a date?

I have few guy friends who are still single for only two reasons: either by choice or no girls want to be in a relationship with them! Of course, as most guys say, it’s their choice to be single (thanks to their E-G-O), when the fact is, they can’t even have a single date with a girl. Why is this happening?? Then came along the magical-psychotic-thought: "What’s wrong with me?" (c’mon!! you guys DO ask yourself that question! Don’t be such a douche!).

Wondering why until now, you can’t snag a hottie? Ever thought how those "fuggly-looking-guys" get the girls and not you, when you know for yourself that you’re waaaaay better than them (yes I’m boosting your Ego!)? Can’t make the girl that you like say "yes"…even for a date? Geez, there could be something wrong with the way you approach girls, which instead of attracting them to your direction, makes them run AWAY from you!! Now don’t feel bad. There’s still a "cure" on the "don’t-know-how-to-date-her syndrome". Trust me, it ain’t because you’re too torpe or too cool for her, because she didn’t agree to date you. There’s just really something you need to improve on!
I’ve gathered some of my (beautiful) friends’ thoughts on what a better way for a guy to ask a girl out and hopefully you’ll learn from it….you should!

The first move…

"I would like us to be friends first…I don’t date someone I hardly know. If I know the guy asking me for a date, it’s easier to say "yes"…maybe we can start from casual dating.."
- Karen, 26

"I’d say no if I guy asked for a date if he’s just introduced to me (or someone I just met). I want to know him better first before asking me (for a date) and he should be sincere…girls just feel if the guy is sincere or not, instinct na yan!"
- phetsmsfs108se, 27

"It’s better if we’ve been friends for a long time, just to avoid awkward moment and so I can be myself when I’m with him. Plus, the guy need not to put his best foot forward, just to have "pogi points; he does need to feign when dating".
- April, 25

"As long as I’m comfortable with the guy, like if both of us can carry a very interesting conversation, and then I’ll go out with him"
- Aysa, 28

"The guy should know what the girl likes….including her interests"
- Pretty Anonymous, 25


Stop "hitting around the bush"!!

"Say it straight, face to face, be a man and not ask a girl out through IM or Text…(that's me – that’s my major pet peeve)"
- Carmela, 26

"Be straight forward! Yung walang paligoy-ligoy…like "do you want to have coffee or lunch or dinner sometime??" ".
- Jaimee, 24


On the "big night"!!

"PAY FOR EVERYTHING! A guy cannot expect to go dutch on a first, second or even third date, especially when his intention is to impress the girl he likes. The rationale behind this to make the girl feel secure that he can take care and provide for her, as we initially look at people we date around as a potential mate in the future. Once a girl is secure about the guy's sincerity and intentions, she will be the one to either offer to pay or insist on going dutch""
- katastrophic519, 27

"Listen to Her and Ask Questions --- ask her questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. A woman is attracted to a man who is genuinely interested in hearing what she has to say. Spend a lot more time asking her questions and letting her talk than talking more about yourself."
- Diana, 24

"First they have to pay! Then a guy should be sincere, dress appropriately and know what the girl’s interests. Not all first date should be formal, like in a restaurant. It should be more on where the girl will feel comfortable and it should be fun, so we (girls) will have the chance to know the person more".
- Hot Anonymous, 30

"First (i think), guys should always ALWAYS leave their home well-groomed (it's major turn off if the guy asking you out is or looks dugyot (dirty) right?). Second, (i think) it's important to know the girl's (you're asking out) interest so he will know where to take her on a date. Girls, will say yes often if she's interested in your date itinerary (unless he hates to be with the guy!) the guy wouldn’t want to ask a girl to watch a rowdy concert if she would rather watch I nice and quiet play, right?.Third, flattery will go a long way than sarcasm and being rude (girls and i mean ALL, still wanted to receive compliments.). Fourth, never underestimate the power of sense of humor! They (your date) will know that they will jive and actually talk on the duration of the date, rather than just stare at each other. And go on…actually ask her on a date already; you will never know what she'll say unless you do so. If she doesn't want to go, then maybe next time. ;)
- Rhia, 25

Managers beware! Ü

A forwarded email that i find really funny:


THE BEST RESIGNATION LETTER EVER

**Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!

Dear Mr. Baker,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers.

Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment". I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator.

Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day,
Cecilia




ME: **yikes!!**

Lonesome tonight?

Loneliness is always been everybody’s (one of) main personal issue. Being in a relationship tends to measure ones hotness, appeal to opposite sex, self confidence and social values, whether that be in a good or complicated relationship.

Nowadays, they say being single is a sign that someone knows what he or she wants and how to get it, it’s a sign that single people don’t settle for something less and knows they deserve something worth the wait, it could also mean that single people have more time to enjoy life more than those in a relationship. Well for me, I find this a lie!

Some opted to be single because they simply having fun not being tied to somebody, and enjoys having "fling" with someone….to mind you, "fling" is a relationship, also known as being friends with benefits with someone. Still, single people dating anybody they like or want for that matter, is unaware that they are starting to build relationship with someone; they are not just tied to them like those who have a serious relationship with. They have freedom to choose, and that freedom makes it different from other relationships some have. For some, they even consider themselves to be in a "complicated" relationship. Sorry, but for me people who are engaged to this set-up are more likely insecure of themselves or could be taking revenge on bad past they have. They don’t get tired playing around simply because they always find flaws, either on themselves or the person they are seeing. This statement only goes for players out there, stating they are single while making other weep without being aware of it. Again, singles who are love to mingle and flirt around with anybody they like are players.

Some people are love chasers. They are those who are the "players" victim. They are single because they think, all the person so go out with or met, don’t like them. They are those who often think "I may not be the right one for you, but someone is out there who will love me back!". They are pretty strong and never get tired on seeking the right one. They are those who are "pretty close on finding the right one", but still end their nights alone.

Hopeless romantics are often single too. They are the ones always waiting for someone who will make them whole, who will help them find the value of themselves and will make them see stars and fireworks every time they go out with someone. No sparks means no love for them. They rely more on happy endings (which by the way, ever lasting love only works if both couple are dead and spending time in heaven), prince charmings and beautiful princesses. Hopeless romantics always end up with the wrong one, like those Love chasers…and often ask themselves "why?". Then again both of them have in common, they are this close on meeting the right one for them…they only have to waste time with the wrong ones.

And there are some singles that just enjoy the life they live in! They go out with their friends, consider dates as a "bonus" on their weekend schedule, appreciate their family more because they spend more time with them and of course, starting to love themselves simply because they know they will find the good one for them (take note: not the right one) and they know for themselves that they can spend time with the wrong ones, but not really waste their time for them. They have more life than the players, love chasers and hopeless romantic have. Then again, they end up alone, maybe because they enjoy their own life so much, they unaware that they are not letting someone take a peek on their adventurous, often busy life! Worst is, they still feel alone, for they have been single for eons!

So what really makes someone feel less lonesome? The key is, loneliness don’t rely on someone’s affection alone. If you are to tell me I’m wrong…think how many divorce or annulments are being process by lawyers every single day? How many couples are wasting money for couples’ therapy? Not to mention all couples separating without any professional help. Point is, being single does make someone feel alone, but it’s only a matter of having a balance life so single person won’t feel lonely at all.

People should shrug off the idea that lonesome gauges someone’s weight, number of friends or sex appeal. It’s a matter of learning how to love, be loved and finding love without doing any desperate moves. It’s learning self acceptance and appreciating life. Someone status is an option…so does loneliness.

A Tourist's Letter

The moment i logged in to my computer, i saw this email that caught my attention, because for once, someone who's really on the crime scene made a statement which will help everyone understand the gunman's concerns. I just don't understand why some innocent tourist had to hear and understand his cries, which his fellow colleagues missed to do.



Postcripts To A BloodBath


Mr. Mendoza was already upset even before he saw on television what the policemen did to his brother. The other tourists who remained inside the bus were complaining. Wei Ji Jiang wanted to go to the bathroom. Dao Chi Yu was hungry and the rest were just groaning and whining like they have forgotten that our lives rest in Mr. Mendoza's hands.

The hostage taker, as you know him was really nice. He treated us okay and even let the elders and the children leave the bus. He said your policemen treated him unfairly. He was a policeman too and was accused of doing something he had no knowledge of. But your government didn't listen so he used us to get everyone's attention.

Things would have never turned for the worst if he didn't see how his family was dragged out of their house and taken into custody. He was watching the news all the time as we huddled around each other behind the bus. He shouted some words in your language then started shooting in the air. A girl about my age started screaming. Mr. Mendoza demanded her to stop but she didn't understand English. God, he had to slash her neck with a knife just to put her to rest. Her boyfriend who tried to hit him was shot in the head.

Tension was rising. You can see in his face how scared and confused he was. The bus driver ran away leaving him alone with strangers from a distant land. I can see him walking across the aisle, sometimes pointing his machine gun to one of the tourists. But he tried his best not to hurt us, especially those who really cooperate.

I guess its in your nature not to inflict pain on others unless it was necessary. I remember him saying that he will free us before sundown and implored us to forget everything when we return home. But his words don't matter now. The policemen were trying to force their way in, while we all lied down to shield ourselves from bullets. Mister Mendoza blindly shoots at his enemies which I think kept them from rescuing us. I hear sobs under the chairs. Some were even shouting the names of their loved ones even when the air merely eat their words. Kevin Tang tried to escape when the glass door was was shattered, but one shot and he slumped on the floor with blood gushing from his mouth.

Heavy rain pitter-pattered on the rooftop. In old Chinese saying, it means an end to a struggle. Finally, somebody was able to open the escape hatch at the back of the bus. Freedom. But I knew Mister Mendoza was still alive. I knew he was just waiting for a chance to strike back at his enemies. So I told those around me not to escape. Let the authorities come for us instead. Then there was gunfire. He was firing at his enemies with a machine gun. Those who were at the escape hatch fled abandoning us once again. It's like a nightmare with no end and to wake up means a certain death. Then somebody from outside the bus threw a canister. It forced out a black smoke that is so painful to the eyes and putrid smelling to the nose. People started screaming. We cannot breathe. Some ran in front of the bus but Mister Mendoza warned them of stray bullets. It was too late. One was hit on the head, the other was hit on the shoulders. Bullets were now flying. Its like the authorities thought we were all dead. Mister Mendoza finally admits his mistake and said sorry to everyone, dead or alive. He then ran towards the front of the bus where he would meet his maker. As he passed by my chair with bullets whistling overhead, I clutched my hand on the velvet curtain and wrapped it around my face. All I could think of was to stay alive for my child who is waiting for me back in Xinjang. I know I will survive,

I will come home.

Bang Lu Min Survivor, Quirino Bloodbath


Grabbed from yahoo news/philippines.

A thing from my past

I'm cleaning my stuff, as i prepare to move to my new place and lo and behold! i found my journal dated year 2006! I read through all the dramas and nonsensical stuff in my life when i'm few years younger and here's one entry i would like to share: (unedited)



Feb 15, 2006 - Wednesday



Dear Gryz,



So how's your day? I heard a lot of things happened to you today. I heard that you cry a lot because first, you feel that nobody really cares about you, that it seems like that you're worst than an orphaned kid and second, because you still feel bad to your mama. Well, honestly you seem pissed off with your life that i often hear you ask, or better say, plea God to take your life right now. I feel sad for you. I know you hate being sorry for yourself or other people feeling sorry for you, but the truth is - I really am feeling so sorry for you to every single bad - or worst thing that's happening in your life.

Well dear, first...you're not a kid anymore, so don't feel like an abandoned KID! 2 more days and you'll be 21; that will be ths start to prove them that "Hey! you're one smart ass and can stand on your own!". The more you get older, the bigger your responsibilities, the bigger responsibility..the worst life gets. You just have to accept it and be prepared. You can do great girl! Second, your mama is already paying the price on the life she choose. You've shared a piece of your pie, laid down your cards and that made you feel better, while she's feeling terribly bad. Does saying what you've been keeping for a long time loosen the situation? Honestly, i also don't know. Besides, that's the life she want; no matter what excuse she said and even if she seems like she don't want to do anything to make it better, then let her be where she wants to be.

You've said what you think she should and should not do, and let her decide whether to accept it or not. If being with you is not her option at all, then you just have to be thankful because whether you like it or not, she still helped you on her own little ways, she's still your mama and God used her to show you how beautiful HIS creations are. Instead of being fretting, just be thankful; in this case, it will make your life not that worst. About your stepfather, don't let your hate over him drown you. This will cause you terrible result in yourself and life as a whole.

I've also heard that you talked to your Auntie Lily in Manila, and discussed something about religion and faith in God. To be honest, I don't see you having strong faith on HIM and struggle a lot in knowing who HE is in your life. Still groping in the dark? Why Gryz? I don't really see you that "attached" to HIM and most of the time, you let devil get over you, when you know that it shouldn't be. You're still weak, vulnerable, naive...stupid...anything i can describe about you and your heart. How can you achieve eternal life without God in your heart? Geez...now we're getting serious here!Ü...I just hope that it wouldn't be too late for you to "find" HIM.

Uhmm..about your wish for being a photographer, I think you should start doing something about it. The earlier you start, the farther you get. Strt working on what you love the most - start working to reach your goal. Don't mind those people who's pulling you down - someday, you can prove something to them and that alone will make them feel sorry for doing that to you...the best part of this is: you'll prove them wrong!

Smile! Shit happens!!Ü. Just thank God for every small and great things that happened today. Oh by the way...Good news, congratulations! You've survived!!

What a dreadful day!

I feel so tired today and i almost cried because of the things that are going through in my life.

Fuck! i don't know what to do or where to begin. It's just making me crazy the past few days and i thought that if only i have saved enough cash, i will not go through this dilemma!

Hais...i'm just looking forward to get over this feeling and start a new life!

There's only one thing to say: "it's hard to find a home!".