Where have all the Good Vibes gone?

My workstation is clutter free. I don’t know if I’ll be happy about it because there are no longer papers, left-over foods (not spoil yet) and pencil and pens I can just grab any time I need to write anything I thought of. I am not even allowed to play music through my AIM radio! Geez…it’s a little bit scary because I’m starting to feel my world are being thrown with a lot of restrictions, it’s giving me a hard time to breathe. I’m really bored with registering every financial software, every single day, 9 hours every NIGHT Mondays to Fridays!!!! Oh yes…I’m about to make a sale, I have stats to pass, based on the sale that I have to generate every call. It’s sounds simple right?! It’s sound really "sisiw"!!! Yet something that doesn’t really motivates you and something where your heart is not at, will be really hard to deal with and it will be ultimately difficult to survive and pass.
I’ve been convincing myself that things will be fine and that I will get used to this kind of work, in the right time and with the right reason; only to find out that I’m not just convincing myself, but I’m already pushing and fooling myself too hard. Questions like, "how long will I stay here?" and "why am I here?" keeps running in my head every time I go to office and I always end up with the same answer, "because of your friends", "because you need money to pay your rent and buy food", "because God knows better than you" and "because you need to face the truth that you are afraid to end up a failure in the work you really want!". It’s getting more complicated every single day. I get more tired, less happiness, more stress, less friends, more thinking, less sleep…what do I get with all these? All sorts of signs of aging start to show up and more stick of cigarettes to consume.
I have nothing left but to hope and pray endlessly. A list of wishful thinking is well kept in my pocket, thinking that in time, one of those will come true. What all of my wishes do come true? Then my life will be clutter free; but then again, will I be happy about it or would I would be more contented if there are some trash that will keep me busy?