Pre - Launch

Nothing's much tiring than convincing yourself how great your day is and that you should love every inch of what you are doing on your job.
I just thought that in 2 years of working, i never really done anything but rant and complain, worst is to disdain even myself for allowing me be stuck in a work station full of American callers waiting to be pleased.
The only reason why i have this kind of mindset is maybe because i know for myself there is more than i can do than this. I never dreamed of working here, but i did this for a cause. I'm not so filthy rich that i can buy a single soul in a wink of an eye.
I once dreamed to be a writer, I want to be an advertiser, i even thought i'll be a filmmaker, a scripwriter and the best and the greatest photographer in the whole world. They said i have what it takes, i said I don't have the guts and doesn't trust myself that much....there goes the negative vibes again!
There's actually the half of the truth: i don't also want to leave. I may be chickened out, of maybe hell scared what's out there, afraid that i will be losing the lifestyle that i'm getting right now, who will not live the life of someone who get to earn much than they are expecting?
Plus the great friends i met here. Let me quote what once my friend told me, "we are not just office friends..." and yes it's true, they are more than what i expect them to be: buddies of all season! They never fail to make me smile and for some moment, they could really be annoying.
Crazy to say but they are my only hope in this world i'm working at, and now, i'm starting to be really fed up and this close of giving up, i thought i have to do something sensible than this. I'm bigger than my job yet i'm letting it eat me.
Another "dealine" for me, and i'm looking forward not to make this another deadline i missed.