Sentimental me...

Love... why is it hard to find you?

I have to go through series of rejections and i have to do the same..reject their feign love. Why is it hard to love and be loved in return? why does fate have to be tough on me?
All these are like a game; a game i don't know if i can still achieve victory over to. So tricky! I just can't master the game or maybe i just don't know how to play my cards really damn well. I guess, playing isn't really my thing; I need the real deal. It's sickening to kiss frogs who never turned into the Prince i'm searching for.
Where are you?
Just where the hell are you?
All i wanted is to find this guy who's actions speaks louder than words. I need a guy who will not promise me his life, give me sweet nothings and cuddles me everyday. I need someone who's willing to share their part of them to me, the way i would love to share a part of me to him. Sweet pick-up lines are funny but i'm going crazy over it. It's making me go berserk! All the pain and disappointments makes me want to give up, thinking that maybe L-O-V-E isn't just a thing for me.
I want to let go of this feeling of waiting. I'm tired of it. I'm tired being fooled, acting like a fool and pretending to be stupid hoping that through this i'll find "him". Years of waiting, yet no one - not a single man's soul wants me in their life.
Love...do i really have to exert effort to find you?
I'm starting to prepare myself for being alone. But how ready am i? Will this be for the rest of my mortal life? What if no one is really meant for me? No one is ever worth the pain...the wait...someone's  worth of having me? I'm sick of feeling this way...

Is it goodbye love for me now?