Things happened for a reason….so passé, yet it’s turning out to be a universal truth.
It’s not everyday I get to make some effort to be a little closer to someone I really like. Something’s always holding me back whenever I plan to do so. It is possible that I’m lacking some courage, guts or perhaps confidence, yet whatever it is, I know it’s not going to turn into something I carefully plan about.
He is not that ideal, but he’s the one who made my heart consistently beat really fast…after a gazillion years!! He’s not great looking, yet he looks perfect on his rusty jeans on, rock start printed shirt, rasta looking bonnet, armed with the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen…..after a gazillion years again! He have this ultimate power leaving me speechless every time he pass by or simply glance at my direction --- NOW I’M BEING MUSHY!!!! See he got me speechless and mushy at the same time....it’s so impossible for me to be like that, but he made it possible.
I never realized how important the day we became acquaintance until I understand what all this mushiness I’m going through is. Now, we’re just one perfect strangers; nothing left but the memories where he always smile back at me.
I don’t know what I’ve done or probably my stupid mouth did it again that’s why things turned this way. It may be something stupid that I have had done that will always remind him every time he see me. Whatever it is, It’s me. It took me time to accept it. It crashes my ability to like who I am. My friend may be right, I better blindfold myself whenever I’m going to face a mirror, because what all I’m going to see is one unpleasing and very disappointing lass.
It made me feel sad for a few hours yet I realized one thing, this may sound stupid, but all this didn’t really break my heart, it was all replaced by irreplaceable disappointments. I’m more disappointed at him than I am to myself. There are several things he has done that melt my mushiness and simply throw at the trash. All that’s left of me are series of "why" questions, unfathomable disenchantments and the courage to move on, not taking a fleeting looks at his direction.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Stream to scream??
It was saturday morning that i have to go to the office to meet my agents for a huddle when i heard a shocking and interesting news --- Stream Global contact center merge with Etelecare GS.
I guess I was the one who's updated instead of me updating agents on what to do with their calls.
I watched the agents' reactions when their Team Leader was carefully breaking the the news and seems like preparing himself for more violent reactions, but lo and behold, all they did was give a sigh of disappointment, grin and most of them have no reactions at all!
In general most of the agents around me are worried. There are so many "what if" questions going around and a very complex "what-will-happend-to-us?" look in the face. It's the same case here on the support department. Numerous rumors are going around and it is somehow making us think of ourselves and for some, their growth in this industry.
Personally, I am disappointed. The fact that Etelecare can no longer stand on its own means something really big. I was once not that proud working on a BPO industry not until i've experience the Etelecare culture and their drive to make a mark world wide. I must admit that right now i'm not that fully happy with my work, what more now that a lot of changes are going on and it's getting worst than i can think of. I'm not saying that Stream is a bad company or anything like that, I don't know anything about them so I can't really say anything good or bad about them. What I care for (for whatever reason) is the company i'm in right now.
Will they increase our pay? Is that one of the reason why we'll no longer have our PA? Does that mean that new hires get to have more pay thatn those whose working here like the entire of their lives? Where have all our good and great boss gone? Why most of them left us? Is it that worst that you need to consider other company and leave us hanging? Will it be more hard for us to get promoted? What's the next step??
All i know...we just have to expect the worst and hope for the best.
I want to blame it on global recession and we are directly affected by that. Yet there's nothing I can do but be thankful because I still have a job to keep.
The only thing all of us have is the hope that Stream will not have a bad effects on Etelecare or vice versa. We hope that nothing really big will be compromised by this decision.
Cross our fingers!Ü
I guess I was the one who's updated instead of me updating agents on what to do with their calls.
I watched the agents' reactions when their Team Leader was carefully breaking the the news and seems like preparing himself for more violent reactions, but lo and behold, all they did was give a sigh of disappointment, grin and most of them have no reactions at all!
In general most of the agents around me are worried. There are so many "what if" questions going around and a very complex "what-will-happend-to-us?" look in the face. It's the same case here on the support department. Numerous rumors are going around and it is somehow making us think of ourselves and for some, their growth in this industry.
Personally, I am disappointed. The fact that Etelecare can no longer stand on its own means something really big. I was once not that proud working on a BPO industry not until i've experience the Etelecare culture and their drive to make a mark world wide. I must admit that right now i'm not that fully happy with my work, what more now that a lot of changes are going on and it's getting worst than i can think of. I'm not saying that Stream is a bad company or anything like that, I don't know anything about them so I can't really say anything good or bad about them. What I care for (for whatever reason) is the company i'm in right now.
Will they increase our pay? Is that one of the reason why we'll no longer have our PA? Does that mean that new hires get to have more pay thatn those whose working here like the entire of their lives? Where have all our good and great boss gone? Why most of them left us? Is it that worst that you need to consider other company and leave us hanging? Will it be more hard for us to get promoted? What's the next step??
All i know...we just have to expect the worst and hope for the best.
I want to blame it on global recession and we are directly affected by that. Yet there's nothing I can do but be thankful because I still have a job to keep.
The only thing all of us have is the hope that Stream will not have a bad effects on Etelecare or vice versa. We hope that nothing really big will be compromised by this decision.
Cross our fingers!Ü
Friday, August 7, 2009
Where have all my ideas gone?
It’s been almost a month since I get to put into words all the thoughts and ideas that successfully intervene in my life and I think there’s no one to blame but my great ways in procrastinating.
It’s the culprit, the robber, the one I should put all the blames on.
I procrastinate that’s why I don’t get to love my job and didn’t get to find a career.
I procrastinate that’s why I’m still single.
I procrastinate that’s why I don’t really get to appreciate every single time I have.
I procrastinate as an alternative way for me if I can’t stop from what I’m doing to write down what I have in mind and heart.
Above all, I blame myself for doing it. Or maybe I should blame myself for not doing something about it. Procrastinating is eating my senses. I allow that to happen so I’m suffering the consequences. It’s me who can’t be brave enough to make a step forward and take the risk to defeat procrastinating. I let it take control MY steering wheel.
Time was wasted and there’s nothing I can do to get back on something that’s lost. I think the best thing to do is, oh well, as much as possible, don’t allow procrastinating to take over me. How? I don’t know. I think I should start doing what matters most – putting my thoughts into words, WRITE! I will try my best not to drag my feet when something came up and will not be hesitant to take time on putting into writing whatever it is that will just hit me. Writing is the only thing I get to do where I put my heart in and I know, It’s unfair for myself if I will take it for granted.
It’s the culprit, the robber, the one I should put all the blames on.
I procrastinate that’s why I don’t get to love my job and didn’t get to find a career.
I procrastinate that’s why I’m still single.
I procrastinate that’s why I don’t really get to appreciate every single time I have.
I procrastinate as an alternative way for me if I can’t stop from what I’m doing to write down what I have in mind and heart.
Above all, I blame myself for doing it. Or maybe I should blame myself for not doing something about it. Procrastinating is eating my senses. I allow that to happen so I’m suffering the consequences. It’s me who can’t be brave enough to make a step forward and take the risk to defeat procrastinating. I let it take control MY steering wheel.
Time was wasted and there’s nothing I can do to get back on something that’s lost. I think the best thing to do is, oh well, as much as possible, don’t allow procrastinating to take over me. How? I don’t know. I think I should start doing what matters most – putting my thoughts into words, WRITE! I will try my best not to drag my feet when something came up and will not be hesitant to take time on putting into writing whatever it is that will just hit me. Writing is the only thing I get to do where I put my heart in and I know, It’s unfair for myself if I will take it for granted.
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