WHY DO MEN CHEAT?

A friend asked me one of the most asked questions I’ve known: WHY DO MEN CHEAT?

For centuries, studies were made and people are trying to justify why men cheat. I’ve accepted the fact that male are polygamous in nature, but I think it’s not enough to justify the reason why men cheat. Some guys…very few of them, don’t really cheat on their lovers and fidelity was never an issue.

I’m not a psychologist or have a Phd on studies like this, but I came up with my own conclusions as of why guys don’t or can’t settle with the one they "promised" to be with, for the rest of their life. I think there are several "good" reasons guys have and we, girls, just have to understand it. One of my ex did cheat on me and I never really accepted his reasons, not until now. Maybe because I’m less emotional, with the fact that guys can’t be fully loyal with the one they love, and maybe because I’m (i think) a man-hater now than before.

First, in a relationship, I strongly believe that ones personality and beliefs matters a lot. We are mostly deceived by guys’ endless promises, sweet nothings and once our feet are swept away by these boo-boos called LOVE, it's all too late when we happened to learn more about who our guy really is on the latter part of the relationship. No time frame needed; as long as a girl is blinded with their love for her guy, she will never understand anything and accept the fact that even the nicest men in the world has the tendency to cheat. So why do men cheat??

I came up with only three reasons on why our boys play around behind us. First, they want a more adventurous sex life. C’mon…each person have own their sexual desires and needs, and once their partner fails to meet that specific need, our animal instinct within us drives us to go to the wilds and do whatever it is to satisfy it. Girls can handle this situation more than guys does…deal with it gentlemen!! That’s why we often heard those nonsensical excuse such as "she’s the one started it!", "she initiated it…", "I’m just teased by this bitch" and think of other darn words to defend themselves. Truth is, guys wanted it too, the sense of thrill that they have to creep and do nasty things behind their girls is perhaps one of the dirty deeds each guys have in their mind. It makes them feel like kids breaking school rules and wishing that their teacher will never catch them red handed. I think this is one of the reasons why most people say "Maybe the girl is goooood….", when they saw a cute guy with a not so admirable girl as their partner. For me one of the girl’s role is to sexually satisfy their partner…but hey this is only for those who are old enough to be responsible and those who are married. Beware though; for even though we think we are satisfying them enough, there is still the tendency for the guy to find another girl.

Then here’s my second conclusion why guys cheat.

Guys would love to stick to someone who can make them be who they are. OK, when I told my friend about this, she came up with this question "aren’t you supposed to be comfortable when you’re with the one you love?". True! But in a relationship, sometimes guys lose their comfort and feels like it’s their partner who’s leading their life and not them. When the guy feels that their girl is turning to be like their mom, believe me, they freak out!! Guys like a touch of jealousy in a relationship and girls being upfront and steadfast, but just like in any case, too much of something is really bad. A guy has a tendency to lose their comfort with their partner, if their girl don't mind them that much too, like making them feel that they are less important and if they suddenly realize that they are no longer included on the girl’s plans or if they feel that they are being claustrophobic, because the girls’ world only revolves on him. Once they lose themselves or the comfort they used to have, hell will break lose, and girls will find their men cheating on them. See it ain’t just all about sex!

Lastly, this is something not all girls get accept right away but eventually will, is guys cheat if they don’t love their partners anymore. This is true. Guys cheat just to end their relationship with their partners, which I think the most unmanly and stupid thing in the world! Need I have to explain further? Let’s make it simple, a guy don’t love his girlfriend and found a "victim" who’s willing to be their prey. The legitimate girl found out about the dirty deed, guy blames the girl, girl fire back by hacking their boyfriend’s Facebook account and curse him to death, they talk, they break up, girl cries and thinks it’s because she’s ugly, the guy is happy because this is the scenario he has in mind, and has been going on for centuries. Then finally, he gets rid of the one he no longer love! What an ugly picture, but it does happened and it is happening somewhere right now, as you read this!

See, we, girls should make our life less complicated and should stop thinking too much on why some guys wants to have a taste of something "new". Guys have the ability to come up with many reasons, tons of excuse but it all boils down to only three things: Lame sex life with their partners, losing comfort on a relationship and lost love (worst is, if it’s all of their reasons). They are all just translated in different ways, languages and actions. I don’t really know how to avoid it, because it depends on how much a girl knows their guy and the kind of relationship they have, but these were the sole reason I can think of, on why guys love to "play around".

Beating the heat at High Street

Oct 23, 2010 – Saturday


It’s been three months since I had a lazy walk along Bonifacio High Street with my friends, and I’ve become nostalgic as me and my teammates walk along Serendra. There nothing really new and it’s still the place for photo enthusiast to use their gears and start taking pictures.

Our goal is to visit Muji store and it seems like they open late on weekends. Since we can’t bare our rumbling stomachs, pleading for food while waiting for the store to open, we decided to eat at Brother’s Burger. For P200, I had the perfect brunch! Occasionally eating burgers makes me more appreciate it.

45mins before 12noon and the store hasn’t opened yet. We’re done with our “chika-chika” and good laughs and we all decided to go the place where it’s perfect to kill time. Where else to go but: Fully Booked!! It was heaven for me and it’s been a long time since I went to a book store, search and read for a good book. I can’t take my hands off on some classic books, self help books, photography and fashion. We spent time reading and just had a good quiet time together. I love this time because I can’t remember when was the last time I did this!!

1pm and the store has opened! Muji store is located at the second floor of the GAP store along the High Street strip, and it’s one store where you can find almost everything and anything; from furnitures, kikay stuff, office organizers, clothes for both sexes, shoes, bags to fancy looking pens! It’s really tempting to buy anything your eyes desires, since most of them are really useful. What I like most on Muji than other “Japanese store” I’ve known, is this store is more organized and one don’t think someone will be confused where to buy something. The place is spacious enough, unlike other stores where it’s packed with goodies everywhere and aisles are pretty narrow. Their items are pretty pricey for something you can get from other stores, but the comfort of strolling around feeling less stress shopping is priceless! It’s definitely a place to go if I’ll go back in High Street.
Goal is met and we decided to call it a day. Another store, another adventure and same old place I’d love to go back, whether that be with my friends or simply having a quality time by myself shopping around (mostly window shopping! Hehe), or just having coffee and a good book to read.

Love found and lost...

Oct 17, 2010

The time I spent with you, i guess will hunt me forever. I didn't know what you've done, but it sure left a special mark in my heart. You're nothing but a stranger and forever you'll be. That's what hurts me more...we missed every chance we have to know each other better.
Each kiss, every touch, your smile, your hand perfectly fits my hand, as we stroll along the beach while the rain pours, are something i will miss much and only destiny can give us back.
Why?
Why does it have to be the wrong time and place?
Why do we have to leave everything just like that?

Why of all guys, it have to be you?

Boracay Trip 2010

           It’s been almost a week since I got back from our Boracay trip. I must say this was the most memorable Boracay getaway I had with my friends.

           On our first day (Thursday) since we don’t have enough money yet, we just spend our night at Juice bar and went home sober…thanks to you AMF (Adios Mother Fucker!!).

           Friday is much better!! Corine and his boyfriend just arrived and we did bar hopping that night. First stop: Cocomangas! The place is packed with crazy yet happy people!! Too bad I was not able to finish all 15 shots and got only 2 great tasting shots. Then we went to Guilly’s. It wasn’t the same as I remember, because the dance floor was full of "oldies" dancing and swaying the night away. I even remember this old lady reminded me of my mother dancing like a bimbo!! Oh not a good sight!! Then we all headed to Juice bar again. There, all of us just had a great time, drinking, dancing, laughing, taking pictures and throwing up! We ended the night with a memorable session, and it seems like I’ll be smiling the whole night till the break of dawn!!Ü

            Saturday was our ATV day! It was my first time there and I didn’t really take the risk of driving by myself since It’s already afternoon and I did foresee us going home by night. Then we had isaw for our dinner. Saturday night was pretty awesome. After getting stranded at Jammers for a few hours because of the heavy rain, me and two of my friends decided to run and went to Summer Place. We didn’t really care if we got soaked in the rain! We danced the night away and I met some good looking guys there. Then the rest was history….it was indeed a night to remember!Ü

           We didn’t have much activities on Sunday, because first, I still have a "hang-over" on what happened Saturday night and we considered it as our "rest day" since we have to leave Monday morning. I enjoyed the sunset so much, I never saw a beautiful sunset in my life! I didn’t think much of broken promises, some people getting bitter because I get to spend some time with this really gwapo guy, no work, no stress, just chilling out with my fruit shake from Jony’s and having a great time. We all decided to have dinner together as a group, since it’s our last night at the island, I went back to our place to pack my stuff and me and 3 of my great friends went to Summer Place again to have good time. I got really drunk that night, and just as I thought, I’ll be back in manila sober and suffering from headache since I didn’t get to have much sleep too!

           Monday…I was not able to have time to stroll along the beach because we have to leave early and go back to reality.

           I was never this eager to go back to Boracay after all what happened! There’s so many "first" and I was able to almost complete what’s on my wish list. I never had reasons to go back, but now I only have one.Ü

Destination: BORACAY

This is one of my plans turned unplanned.

After waiting for 7 months, the day we’ve all been waiting for is here. We’re almost set to go, yet something’s hindering me not to leave: MONEY! For whatever reason I was not able to plan my budget and save money like I always do If I wanted to travel. This time I have to strictly stick to my budget, which is P3000 less than what I spent the last time I went to Boracay.

What will happen to me in 5 days? I don’t know!! So God help me!!

Mind blabbering

I don’t know what’s with me and guys, but I just thought that either I’m attracted to married guys or I attract bad boys. I’m starting to be paranoid (again) and think that I’ll never meet someone, whom I see myself spending the rest of my life with.

It’s only a few months ago when I get rid of my feelings with this guy who happened to be married, and it ain’t easy! I have to go through tough times and pretend not to care because of two reasons: first, he already have his own family and second is because we’re friends and I still want to keep him in my life, even as a buddy. I never want my feelings with him interfere with our friendship, because that’s the only connection I have with him. Close enough to be friends, but will never be as lovers.

After the harsh battle between my heart and mind, I decided to stop this feelings, go on with my life and accept my defeat; anyways, I know I’m better than be somebody’s options. The only sad part was, I’ve never been vocal with what I really feel towards him.

Then came the part where the quest to find the one who will make me feel extra special begins. This was when I decided it’s not that bad to find someone who will love me and I will love in return. I started with the basic: dating. I started meeting other guys, some were complete strangers, most are friend’s cousin, friend’s High School friend, friend’s college batch mate, friend of a friend’s friend, and other friends’ connection gone crazy! It sounds foolish for me, though the fun part is it taught me how to be brave, and it isn’t always bad to trust someone I just met. Yet truth remains that most of the guys I’ve met and still seeing, seems like the type who only wants "love making" and not really finding love. I don’t know if it’s their only way to figure out how much they love someone, but if guys are like that, then it’s an ugly fact I can’t accept right now. One thing I learned is, if you take a risk at something, don’t regret it and learn the lesson by heart. Even if it means doing something I know I’ll feel bad for. I also don’t find the idea of meeting and mating with any guys introduced to me (or those who introduced themselves) that attractive. I tried playing games with guys, but I think I’m not just good at it. I think maybe I’ll just never win in this game called love, which makes me more careful with my heart.

Thinking of the past few guys I dated makes me realize that maybe I’m attracting the wrong ones or I could be the wrong one for them! Well it doesn’t really matter who started liking who, but if either don’t have interest on knowing their "future mate", then it only means we’re better to be acquaintance or good friends.

What I really resent is the part where fate starts playing with me. I hate this roller coaster life and just want to throw up on the part where, here I am, liking another guy, who has a ring already! I’m so back to the basic and it’s tiring! Whew! I totally not going to dig on this guy and will make a huge stop sign on my forehead, than have a Loser sign behind me.

Now I just want to stop. Stop chasing love, stop finding someone and I want to take a break with everything. I’m still seeing guys and now I just want to have fun and not really stress myself worrying if this guy will make a fool of me or not. I just programmed my mind that it’s good to meet new people, and I’m getting free lunch or dinner from time to time. I don’t want to pay more attention with the wrong guy and enjoy every moment I’m with someone better…when I say better, it means he have to be single. Such a cliché, but love indeed is something I don’t need to rush…..not until I reach 30!Ü

Me and my guy friends...

           I just had a fruitful conversation with my guy friends. Staying up late till dawn and just sharing our ideas and experiences with love gained and love lost was something worth of my time. That’s the moment I get to understand how guys think about getting serious with someone, though they don’t really mean marrying the women they like. It’s the time where I get to really understand that it’s really unfair to generalize that all guys are suckers!

           Hasty generalization…that’s always my judgment when it comes to guys. I always think that all men are up to one thing: SEX. They do admit though that they think about it a lot of time…and I mean A LOT! Then again, with the one they really love and care about, it’s something, let say the third on their list. First is to be with the girl they love, second is to have great time with them and third is sex. So, not all guys are just after getting into the girls pants…not all the time.

           I also learned that guys are up to girls who wear skimpy clothes and show a lot of skin. The thing is, it really depends on who wears it. Guys appreciate girls wearing something daring, yet again it should suit the person who wears it, on the place and occasion. Most guys love to see girls who show off their skin, but guys hardly respect them.

           Guys are also into girls who give them the sense of excitement, so they dig on girls who are really simple outside yet oh so wild when they are intimate. They want someone whom they can present to their parents and friends, which people who matters to him will respect the girl, the way he respect her. Beneath that simple girl, guys dig on girls who can make their knees damn weak when they are intimate. I don’t get why guys like what we call "doble-kara" type of girls, but It’s something new to me.

           Another thing that I learned is, guys do collect and it kills them to decide whom they will select. Trust me, guys do have hearts too and don’t really want hurting girls. They are just really darn stupid to always make the wrong move and say the darnest-and-in-an-annoying-way. Then again, it hurts them to see girls weep or get hurt because of their stupidity. Trust me! Boys can feel pain too; they are just having a hard time deciphering who to be with and end up regretting their choice. Then they end up crying! How fun is that huh?!

           According to my guy friends, they also don’t mind if the girl they like have kids or a kid already. Ideally if they really fall badly for the girl, they wouldn’t mind anything or whatever the girl had in their past. Now that’s sweet!!! I just wonder if there are other guys out there who will actually open their world to the girls past as well. I call that selfless love. Hail to all guys who are really after loving the girl and not just pinning them on the bed.

           If the guys said they care about a girl, the girl should ask why. If the guy said "I like you", the girl should still ask why. If the guy wanted to have a third date with a girl, again, the young lady should ask why. These are some pointers my guy friends told me to do. They said I shouldn’t hesitate knowing the guy’s intentions so I won’t end up beaten and crushed by any Casanovas or dick-head around.

            These were only few of my thousand reasons why I love keeping guys as my great buddies. See, they are the one who teach me to understand men and help and still helping me to accept that not all guys are created to hurt girls. I’m not really a man hater; sometimes I just have weird thoughts about guys. I will not hesitate spend more "quality" time with my boy friends!Ü

123

Test...yes this is just to test if I'll be able to post entries using my phone. :)