Farewell 2010

i'm only counting hours till i finally say...so long 2010.

It has been a tough year. 2010 has been pretty harsh on me and did teach me a lot of lessons. I can't enumerate all the awesome things happened to me but there's only one thing i can say...THANK GOD FOR ANOTHER WONDERFUL YEAR.
I must say this year taught me how to stay grounded. It's better to know how to use one's pride wisely and stay humble with all the small things God has given me. I think it's better that way than wait for God make a way for me to keep my feet on the ground.
This is a year which i've learned that i'm braver than i thought i am. I've done things i thought i never can, which helped me feel more equipped to face 2011. It may not be much than i expected, but enough to make a step away from my fears, inhibitions and doubts.

I also learned that there's nothing wrong to trust a stranger, meet new people and broaden my horizon by being more nice than i am. You just need to guard myself from all the unexpected pain and disappointments.

2010 brought me tears and happiness i will never forget, like spending first day of 2010 with my friends at Tagaytay, spending my birthday at a comedy bar, ending up crying, having an argument with Mama and end up crying again, meeting a stranger online and meeting him in person which somehow sucks but lesson well learned, going to Cebu for the first time, spending weekends driving around town till we reach Tagaytay again ending up eating bulalo, learning how to play poker but never really play the game, partying and parteeeing, living on a condo which i never really dreamed or planned EVER in my life, losing my family again, spending rainy seasons in Boracay, getting drunk...hard drunk, sex in the beach...almost, weed and laughing out loud, being with friends who needs help, saying goodbye to friends, meeting new friends, missing a good ol' phone and but getting a much better one, and a whole lot of circus shits in 2010!!

This will be my last entry for the year. I dunno what 2011have for me. I feel less excited, maybe because time flies so fast that it stresses the hell out of me, but i'm ready to unravel every single present the next year have.

Ready

Set

GO!!!

I can't think of a good title for this but

if there’s one thing I learned today, it is not to pick a fight with an empty head! One, you’ll lose your rationale and all your wisdom will go to waste. Second is you’re fighting with someone who only depends on their wants and that includes them boosting their ego for showing out how great they are by shouting with empty words. And lastly, it’s a waste of energy, to spend it with someone who have no sense of reasoning and all you hear are bad words. One will never win in an argument with someone who only knows how to fight for their ego.
When you’re pushed to your limits, it pays to be silent, take a deep breath and think. It’s the best way to fight back, because you’ll have your senses and sanity back, and not let your emotions take over and drive you mad, till you realize you’re nothing different from the one who’s picking a fight with you. Think if it’s worth your time. Think if it’s something that will risk your life. Think if there are some innocent people that could be included on your fight. Think if the damage your emotions will cost is worth it. Think and ask for guidance. Then, you can do something about the situation, once you set aside your emotions. Act the way wise men do.
I think that’s the perfect way to take revenge.

It's two faces...one couple.
Two smiles...one feeling.
All for the name of L-O-V-E...

on the other hand...

I may not be a head-turner and someone all guys desires. I may not have a fair skin, long silky hair, nice eyes, great smile, sexy figure, big boobies and hot booties. I'm not a supermodel.

But if being beautiful means you have to make someone feel ugly, treat someone bad, make someone feel bad about themselves, dirty talk behind a friend, being dishonest, being a brat and self centered, then I'll be greatful with all my physical imperfections and thank God for making me beautiful as I am.

I know I can't make guys follow me wherever I go, but I know, someday, there's this only guy who will follow me wherever I'll go and will never leave me once I had wrinkles on my face or when my make-up fades.
I will be thankful enough for giving me the courage to stand up as me, and not someone expect me to be. I'll content on the fact that I may not have kissable lips, but I know I'm careful enough to say something that will not break someone into pieces.

Everyone is beautiful. What makes a person have an exeptional beauty, is their ability to make someone feel pretty.

WHY DO MEN CHEAT?

A friend asked me one of the most asked questions I’ve known: WHY DO MEN CHEAT?

For centuries, studies were made and people are trying to justify why men cheat. I’ve accepted the fact that male are polygamous in nature, but I think it’s not enough to justify the reason why men cheat. Some guys…very few of them, don’t really cheat on their lovers and fidelity was never an issue.

I’m not a psychologist or have a Phd on studies like this, but I came up with my own conclusions as of why guys don’t or can’t settle with the one they "promised" to be with, for the rest of their life. I think there are several "good" reasons guys have and we, girls, just have to understand it. One of my ex did cheat on me and I never really accepted his reasons, not until now. Maybe because I’m less emotional, with the fact that guys can’t be fully loyal with the one they love, and maybe because I’m (i think) a man-hater now than before.

First, in a relationship, I strongly believe that ones personality and beliefs matters a lot. We are mostly deceived by guys’ endless promises, sweet nothings and once our feet are swept away by these boo-boos called LOVE, it's all too late when we happened to learn more about who our guy really is on the latter part of the relationship. No time frame needed; as long as a girl is blinded with their love for her guy, she will never understand anything and accept the fact that even the nicest men in the world has the tendency to cheat. So why do men cheat??

I came up with only three reasons on why our boys play around behind us. First, they want a more adventurous sex life. C’mon…each person have own their sexual desires and needs, and once their partner fails to meet that specific need, our animal instinct within us drives us to go to the wilds and do whatever it is to satisfy it. Girls can handle this situation more than guys does…deal with it gentlemen!! That’s why we often heard those nonsensical excuse such as "she’s the one started it!", "she initiated it…", "I’m just teased by this bitch" and think of other darn words to defend themselves. Truth is, guys wanted it too, the sense of thrill that they have to creep and do nasty things behind their girls is perhaps one of the dirty deeds each guys have in their mind. It makes them feel like kids breaking school rules and wishing that their teacher will never catch them red handed. I think this is one of the reasons why most people say "Maybe the girl is goooood….", when they saw a cute guy with a not so admirable girl as their partner. For me one of the girl’s role is to sexually satisfy their partner…but hey this is only for those who are old enough to be responsible and those who are married. Beware though; for even though we think we are satisfying them enough, there is still the tendency for the guy to find another girl.

Then here’s my second conclusion why guys cheat.

Guys would love to stick to someone who can make them be who they are. OK, when I told my friend about this, she came up with this question "aren’t you supposed to be comfortable when you’re with the one you love?". True! But in a relationship, sometimes guys lose their comfort and feels like it’s their partner who’s leading their life and not them. When the guy feels that their girl is turning to be like their mom, believe me, they freak out!! Guys like a touch of jealousy in a relationship and girls being upfront and steadfast, but just like in any case, too much of something is really bad. A guy has a tendency to lose their comfort with their partner, if their girl don't mind them that much too, like making them feel that they are less important and if they suddenly realize that they are no longer included on the girl’s plans or if they feel that they are being claustrophobic, because the girls’ world only revolves on him. Once they lose themselves or the comfort they used to have, hell will break lose, and girls will find their men cheating on them. See it ain’t just all about sex!

Lastly, this is something not all girls get accept right away but eventually will, is guys cheat if they don’t love their partners anymore. This is true. Guys cheat just to end their relationship with their partners, which I think the most unmanly and stupid thing in the world! Need I have to explain further? Let’s make it simple, a guy don’t love his girlfriend and found a "victim" who’s willing to be their prey. The legitimate girl found out about the dirty deed, guy blames the girl, girl fire back by hacking their boyfriend’s Facebook account and curse him to death, they talk, they break up, girl cries and thinks it’s because she’s ugly, the guy is happy because this is the scenario he has in mind, and has been going on for centuries. Then finally, he gets rid of the one he no longer love! What an ugly picture, but it does happened and it is happening somewhere right now, as you read this!

See, we, girls should make our life less complicated and should stop thinking too much on why some guys wants to have a taste of something "new". Guys have the ability to come up with many reasons, tons of excuse but it all boils down to only three things: Lame sex life with their partners, losing comfort on a relationship and lost love (worst is, if it’s all of their reasons). They are all just translated in different ways, languages and actions. I don’t really know how to avoid it, because it depends on how much a girl knows their guy and the kind of relationship they have, but these were the sole reason I can think of, on why guys love to "play around".

Beating the heat at High Street

Oct 23, 2010 – Saturday


It’s been three months since I had a lazy walk along Bonifacio High Street with my friends, and I’ve become nostalgic as me and my teammates walk along Serendra. There nothing really new and it’s still the place for photo enthusiast to use their gears and start taking pictures.

Our goal is to visit Muji store and it seems like they open late on weekends. Since we can’t bare our rumbling stomachs, pleading for food while waiting for the store to open, we decided to eat at Brother’s Burger. For P200, I had the perfect brunch! Occasionally eating burgers makes me more appreciate it.

45mins before 12noon and the store hasn’t opened yet. We’re done with our “chika-chika” and good laughs and we all decided to go the place where it’s perfect to kill time. Where else to go but: Fully Booked!! It was heaven for me and it’s been a long time since I went to a book store, search and read for a good book. I can’t take my hands off on some classic books, self help books, photography and fashion. We spent time reading and just had a good quiet time together. I love this time because I can’t remember when was the last time I did this!!

1pm and the store has opened! Muji store is located at the second floor of the GAP store along the High Street strip, and it’s one store where you can find almost everything and anything; from furnitures, kikay stuff, office organizers, clothes for both sexes, shoes, bags to fancy looking pens! It’s really tempting to buy anything your eyes desires, since most of them are really useful. What I like most on Muji than other “Japanese store” I’ve known, is this store is more organized and one don’t think someone will be confused where to buy something. The place is spacious enough, unlike other stores where it’s packed with goodies everywhere and aisles are pretty narrow. Their items are pretty pricey for something you can get from other stores, but the comfort of strolling around feeling less stress shopping is priceless! It’s definitely a place to go if I’ll go back in High Street.
Goal is met and we decided to call it a day. Another store, another adventure and same old place I’d love to go back, whether that be with my friends or simply having a quality time by myself shopping around (mostly window shopping! Hehe), or just having coffee and a good book to read.

Love found and lost...

Oct 17, 2010

The time I spent with you, i guess will hunt me forever. I didn't know what you've done, but it sure left a special mark in my heart. You're nothing but a stranger and forever you'll be. That's what hurts me more...we missed every chance we have to know each other better.
Each kiss, every touch, your smile, your hand perfectly fits my hand, as we stroll along the beach while the rain pours, are something i will miss much and only destiny can give us back.
Why?
Why does it have to be the wrong time and place?
Why do we have to leave everything just like that?

Why of all guys, it have to be you?

Boracay Trip 2010

           It’s been almost a week since I got back from our Boracay trip. I must say this was the most memorable Boracay getaway I had with my friends.

           On our first day (Thursday) since we don’t have enough money yet, we just spend our night at Juice bar and went home sober…thanks to you AMF (Adios Mother Fucker!!).

           Friday is much better!! Corine and his boyfriend just arrived and we did bar hopping that night. First stop: Cocomangas! The place is packed with crazy yet happy people!! Too bad I was not able to finish all 15 shots and got only 2 great tasting shots. Then we went to Guilly’s. It wasn’t the same as I remember, because the dance floor was full of "oldies" dancing and swaying the night away. I even remember this old lady reminded me of my mother dancing like a bimbo!! Oh not a good sight!! Then we all headed to Juice bar again. There, all of us just had a great time, drinking, dancing, laughing, taking pictures and throwing up! We ended the night with a memorable session, and it seems like I’ll be smiling the whole night till the break of dawn!!Ü

            Saturday was our ATV day! It was my first time there and I didn’t really take the risk of driving by myself since It’s already afternoon and I did foresee us going home by night. Then we had isaw for our dinner. Saturday night was pretty awesome. After getting stranded at Jammers for a few hours because of the heavy rain, me and two of my friends decided to run and went to Summer Place. We didn’t really care if we got soaked in the rain! We danced the night away and I met some good looking guys there. Then the rest was history….it was indeed a night to remember!Ü

           We didn’t have much activities on Sunday, because first, I still have a "hang-over" on what happened Saturday night and we considered it as our "rest day" since we have to leave Monday morning. I enjoyed the sunset so much, I never saw a beautiful sunset in my life! I didn’t think much of broken promises, some people getting bitter because I get to spend some time with this really gwapo guy, no work, no stress, just chilling out with my fruit shake from Jony’s and having a great time. We all decided to have dinner together as a group, since it’s our last night at the island, I went back to our place to pack my stuff and me and 3 of my great friends went to Summer Place again to have good time. I got really drunk that night, and just as I thought, I’ll be back in manila sober and suffering from headache since I didn’t get to have much sleep too!

           Monday…I was not able to have time to stroll along the beach because we have to leave early and go back to reality.

           I was never this eager to go back to Boracay after all what happened! There’s so many "first" and I was able to almost complete what’s on my wish list. I never had reasons to go back, but now I only have one.Ü

Destination: BORACAY

This is one of my plans turned unplanned.

After waiting for 7 months, the day we’ve all been waiting for is here. We’re almost set to go, yet something’s hindering me not to leave: MONEY! For whatever reason I was not able to plan my budget and save money like I always do If I wanted to travel. This time I have to strictly stick to my budget, which is P3000 less than what I spent the last time I went to Boracay.

What will happen to me in 5 days? I don’t know!! So God help me!!

Mind blabbering

I don’t know what’s with me and guys, but I just thought that either I’m attracted to married guys or I attract bad boys. I’m starting to be paranoid (again) and think that I’ll never meet someone, whom I see myself spending the rest of my life with.

It’s only a few months ago when I get rid of my feelings with this guy who happened to be married, and it ain’t easy! I have to go through tough times and pretend not to care because of two reasons: first, he already have his own family and second is because we’re friends and I still want to keep him in my life, even as a buddy. I never want my feelings with him interfere with our friendship, because that’s the only connection I have with him. Close enough to be friends, but will never be as lovers.

After the harsh battle between my heart and mind, I decided to stop this feelings, go on with my life and accept my defeat; anyways, I know I’m better than be somebody’s options. The only sad part was, I’ve never been vocal with what I really feel towards him.

Then came the part where the quest to find the one who will make me feel extra special begins. This was when I decided it’s not that bad to find someone who will love me and I will love in return. I started with the basic: dating. I started meeting other guys, some were complete strangers, most are friend’s cousin, friend’s High School friend, friend’s college batch mate, friend of a friend’s friend, and other friends’ connection gone crazy! It sounds foolish for me, though the fun part is it taught me how to be brave, and it isn’t always bad to trust someone I just met. Yet truth remains that most of the guys I’ve met and still seeing, seems like the type who only wants "love making" and not really finding love. I don’t know if it’s their only way to figure out how much they love someone, but if guys are like that, then it’s an ugly fact I can’t accept right now. One thing I learned is, if you take a risk at something, don’t regret it and learn the lesson by heart. Even if it means doing something I know I’ll feel bad for. I also don’t find the idea of meeting and mating with any guys introduced to me (or those who introduced themselves) that attractive. I tried playing games with guys, but I think I’m not just good at it. I think maybe I’ll just never win in this game called love, which makes me more careful with my heart.

Thinking of the past few guys I dated makes me realize that maybe I’m attracting the wrong ones or I could be the wrong one for them! Well it doesn’t really matter who started liking who, but if either don’t have interest on knowing their "future mate", then it only means we’re better to be acquaintance or good friends.

What I really resent is the part where fate starts playing with me. I hate this roller coaster life and just want to throw up on the part where, here I am, liking another guy, who has a ring already! I’m so back to the basic and it’s tiring! Whew! I totally not going to dig on this guy and will make a huge stop sign on my forehead, than have a Loser sign behind me.

Now I just want to stop. Stop chasing love, stop finding someone and I want to take a break with everything. I’m still seeing guys and now I just want to have fun and not really stress myself worrying if this guy will make a fool of me or not. I just programmed my mind that it’s good to meet new people, and I’m getting free lunch or dinner from time to time. I don’t want to pay more attention with the wrong guy and enjoy every moment I’m with someone better…when I say better, it means he have to be single. Such a cliché, but love indeed is something I don’t need to rush…..not until I reach 30!Ü

Me and my guy friends...

           I just had a fruitful conversation with my guy friends. Staying up late till dawn and just sharing our ideas and experiences with love gained and love lost was something worth of my time. That’s the moment I get to understand how guys think about getting serious with someone, though they don’t really mean marrying the women they like. It’s the time where I get to really understand that it’s really unfair to generalize that all guys are suckers!

           Hasty generalization…that’s always my judgment when it comes to guys. I always think that all men are up to one thing: SEX. They do admit though that they think about it a lot of time…and I mean A LOT! Then again, with the one they really love and care about, it’s something, let say the third on their list. First is to be with the girl they love, second is to have great time with them and third is sex. So, not all guys are just after getting into the girls pants…not all the time.

           I also learned that guys are up to girls who wear skimpy clothes and show a lot of skin. The thing is, it really depends on who wears it. Guys appreciate girls wearing something daring, yet again it should suit the person who wears it, on the place and occasion. Most guys love to see girls who show off their skin, but guys hardly respect them.

           Guys are also into girls who give them the sense of excitement, so they dig on girls who are really simple outside yet oh so wild when they are intimate. They want someone whom they can present to their parents and friends, which people who matters to him will respect the girl, the way he respect her. Beneath that simple girl, guys dig on girls who can make their knees damn weak when they are intimate. I don’t get why guys like what we call "doble-kara" type of girls, but It’s something new to me.

           Another thing that I learned is, guys do collect and it kills them to decide whom they will select. Trust me, guys do have hearts too and don’t really want hurting girls. They are just really darn stupid to always make the wrong move and say the darnest-and-in-an-annoying-way. Then again, it hurts them to see girls weep or get hurt because of their stupidity. Trust me! Boys can feel pain too; they are just having a hard time deciphering who to be with and end up regretting their choice. Then they end up crying! How fun is that huh?!

           According to my guy friends, they also don’t mind if the girl they like have kids or a kid already. Ideally if they really fall badly for the girl, they wouldn’t mind anything or whatever the girl had in their past. Now that’s sweet!!! I just wonder if there are other guys out there who will actually open their world to the girls past as well. I call that selfless love. Hail to all guys who are really after loving the girl and not just pinning them on the bed.

           If the guys said they care about a girl, the girl should ask why. If the guy said "I like you", the girl should still ask why. If the guy wanted to have a third date with a girl, again, the young lady should ask why. These are some pointers my guy friends told me to do. They said I shouldn’t hesitate knowing the guy’s intentions so I won’t end up beaten and crushed by any Casanovas or dick-head around.

            These were only few of my thousand reasons why I love keeping guys as my great buddies. See, they are the one who teach me to understand men and help and still helping me to accept that not all guys are created to hurt girls. I’m not really a man hater; sometimes I just have weird thoughts about guys. I will not hesitate spend more "quality" time with my boy friends!Ü

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Test...yes this is just to test if I'll be able to post entries using my phone. :)

“MOVING OUT SALE!”

That’s all me and my roomie have to see and we went "gaga" on checking out what’s in store for us on that lovely event. It’s like treasure hunting, the girls’ way, as we find someone’s "garbage" our very own "precious".

So we thought of buying the entertainment set: TV rack, DVD player, TV and speaker…then came our desire to have our own fridge, which makes the situation worst because, now, we’re confused on what to spend on and thought really hard why buy any of those stuff.

I checked on my budget and only to discover that I don’t have enough money to buy any of the two!! Now that worsen the situation. See, I’m a spender only on the things I think worth spending for. It took me months…ok, years to learn not to be a compulsive buyer and spend less on clothes, food, going to events, weekend night outs and food again. It took me time to realize the value of saving and I’m now practicing of "segregating" my earning on what to save on and which to splurge for. I’m starting to be a "budget driven on every way I can think of" and it’s just sad that either of the things we want on that sale is not part of my budget! I threw my credit card away, and have my wallet on a strict diet as possible!

While we’re facing a dilemma on which to buy, that will fit OUR budget, my roomie and I still decided to set an appointment to meet the people who’s on for the "Moving Out Sale". They live just across our building, and met the lovely couple, as we "visit" their place and "took a good look" on what other things we can buy, which we can use on our own place. The search for that something essential for us is on! The fridge and the TV set was sold so here are some things we considered buying:
Prospect #1: The dining Table. Prospect #2: The sala set. Prospect #3: Some Christmas decors. I thought of haggling and had a discussion with myself if "is it worth it?". It was once stated at The Analects that "Twice is plenty enough", but with all the good stuff I see at the four corner of the room, hell! Twice is not enough, because it’s making me think thrice, four times, to really decide on what to buy.

Then at one glance at the center table ended our predicament! There, something that made me and my roomie smile! We just knew it…it’s worth every cent we have on our pocket and damn so entertaining. So I sat down, take a good look, asked my roomie if she like it too, received a nod, held it in my hands and it made me feel great as ever! One, two…oh no…5 back-issues of every woman’s bible: Cosmopolitan magazine! We just knew it…our own treasure worth keeping for only P20 each!! We handed the pretty lady our cash and went back happily to our own pad. See, we didn’t go home empty handed after all!

So now, which article to begin….Ü

On “Big Bang Theory”

I didn’t really get to watch TV series lately after Prison Break, Sex and the City and Gossip Girls, since first, we don’t have cable here on our condo and second, I only get to watch it on weekends when I go home, which only happened 2x in a month.

A friend told me about this TV series and highly recommended it to me because it so darn funny. So when my roomie and I went to the mall, I thought of buying 3 cds for all the series of Big Bang Theory…and then after watching few episodes of it, I got hooked!

It’s a typical story of 4 geeks meeting a pretty blonde, not really messing up their life but showing them that there’s a world outside their researches, experiments, online games, Star trek and other boring geek stuff. Ü

Sheldon is the funniest among the 5 main characters and how I love his cute, annoying remarks which will make you think twice whether to be mad at him or not. He talk non-stop and his knowledge about science, math and history is indeed unfathomable! He’s one Obsessive Compulsive guy, an online game freak, don’t really see himself dating or going out with girls, wants to be Batman, loves and fears her mom and doesn’t know sarcasm. He's like a grade school geek, who is (so) loquacious....how cute could that be!!

Then Leonard is Sheldon’s "apartment-mate", who happens to be more "active" in search for the right person to be serious with. He’s more patient, more understanding and rationale enough to endure Sheldon. He’s one total geek, who knows how to steal a girl’s heart but doesn’t know how to keep them for long.

I’ll say Howard is most "perve" among them, though he’s the kind of those "who-hit-on-girls-who-ends-up-being-hit-on-his-face!" guy. He often say the worst pick-up lines (ever!!) but totally funny. He’s one hilarious, hippie-looking 27 year-old nerd who still lives with her mom and loves her mom’s beef brisket, loves doing researches and experiments on how to make a girl sleep with him, the only one who doesn’t have a PhD among the four and like a high school kid on a man’s body!

The quiet among them is Raj…that is if he’s not drunk and when there’s a beautiful, sexy chick around him. He can’t utter a word when he’s in front of a girl…again, only if he’s not drunk, but can do talk a lot at times too (no one beats Sheldon though). He’s the typical Indian nerd who happened to be friends with typical geek friends, who met this girl Penny and things go haywire!

And Penny is the one who introduced them to the real world! She’s the one who slowly show them that there are things that isn’t justified by science, theories and laws, such as dating a girl, handling a relationship, the real deal with giving without expecting something in return, being concerned about someone’s feelings and the art of making someone say "sorry". She’s just one sweet chick…a little dumb on the other side but indeed a street smart.

When two geeks meet a hot chick….and two more geeks joined the bandwagon and it’s like a Thai curry, mixed with beef brisket and japs cuisine on the side….yes it’s crazy and a whole lot of fun!!

Update you more on my favorite episodes soooon!!

AFK Ü

*pix from: http://the-big-bang-theory.com/gallery/album/11/Group-Pictures/

Got totally pissed!

12:43 am - Tuesday


I don’t know if I’m just a little sensitive today or I just run of patience to this person…I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t have enough sleep or because of other personal shits that’s going on in my life.

Anyhoo, I just don’t get it when there are girls who are a little superficial…specifically when boys are around! Geez! I’m over this person who is acting nice, sweet and as if she’s like an angel descended from heaven, when the truth is, she’s a devil in disguise!!! She’s nice when she wanted to, on the people whom she knows that liked and still like her…I don’t get it! Why do someone have to be really superficial and be a total pain in the ass, just for guys to like her!! That’s disgusting!! Well, if that’s her way on getting someone fall head over heels, I’ll let her be…

Now the good thing is…I’m going home now and will just sleep the night away, or will just watch Big Bang Theory!

Just for laughs!!

I don’t have any idea where this thing came from, but all I know is it’s one funny shit!!!
Have a good laugh!!Ü

(from someone's blogpost)


We've been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya. And then, he came over with me. He said, "I hope you don't mine. Can I get your number?" Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla siya. Sagot niya, The! Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears. Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch na rin. Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time. After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. "Will you marriage me?" I'm in a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! This is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces. Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here." What the fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling her boyfriend. Ats if! I don't want to portrait the role of the other woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, "please, mine you own business!" Who would believe her anyway?

Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy. Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look at is this way. She's our of our lives."


Kaya advise ko sa inyo -- take the risk. You can never can tell. Just burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion.


The end!

When My Heart Cede

I shouted your name,
You didn’t hear a thing…
Wanted you to know my feelings,
Wanted to let you know it ain’t the same.

I did things I’ve never done before…
I acted indifferent and foolishly,
I thought I’ll catch you glanced at me..
Please, It’s just your attention I implore.

Days, weeks, months had passed,
We’re starting to act like strangers,
And all the promises are gone forever..
I wonder, when this tragic dream will last.

I think even our friendship’s over,
All the happy times are just part of memories.
I can only be thankful you’ve been part of me..
And I cannot ask or demand for more!

I’m supposed to tell you,
This feelings I’ve been keeping for long,
Now everything is like a fading song,
It wouldn’t even matter, if I say "I love you".

ALL YOU GIRLS!! CHECK THIS OUT!!Ü

As a surf while waiting for a long "dead-air" to end, i found this very interesting article which will help us (girls) understand more about guys, and decided to re-post it here. You will find the original post of this article on this link: http://www.fundistraction.com/2010/06/99-facts-about-guys-that-girls-should.html.

Thanks to who ever you are thought of this!Ü

99 Facts about Guys that Girls should know!
11:26 PM by mr. simplicity
I got 99 Facts About Guys that Girls Should Know!!! Here it is :

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate other flirts.

3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.

11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.....dont think so

12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they have one habit to gain courage
and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking! but do not generalise

13. Guys cry!!!

14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.

15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.

16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.

17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.

19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands...yeh rite - watever.

20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.

22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow".....so true.

23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.

24. Guys hate gays!

25. Guys love their moms.

26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

28. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.

31. Like Eve, girls are guys weaknesses.

32. Guys are very open about themselves.

33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.

34. No guy is bad when he is courting

35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.

37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you, may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.....very true.

39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.

41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.....sumtimes.

42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.

43. Guys virtually brag about anything.

44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

45. Guys think too much.

46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.

47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!....very true.

48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!

49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.

50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.

51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.

52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.

53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.

54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.

55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed P**** with their girlfriends'.....sumtimes depends wen they want.

56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll probably see that he is nervous.

57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me".....sumtimes.

59. Guys don't really have final decisions.

60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.....very important.

62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.

64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.

67. A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.

68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.....they love u regardless.

69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding...true but only wen the guys are ready 2be settled down.

70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.

72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.

73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.

74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.

75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.

76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.

77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them
more.

78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.

79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.

80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they'll realize they're
wrong.

81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too stubborn to deal with it.

82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.

83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.

84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.

85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.

86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed by you or he's criticizing you.

87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But
when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.

88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.

89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.

90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!

92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.

93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.

94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.

95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.

96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!

97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.

98. Guys hate girls who overreact.....sumtimes.

99. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.

Monday the 13th

It ain’t bad as I thought but hell this day is sooooo boring!

It’s given that anybody will find my job boring, which I happened to like along the way, because I get to write, write and write! Rating calls is not as difficult as today; maybe it’s not the calls, not the agents, not my boss or my gay teammate sitting next to me…maybe it’s just me! Hehehe….it’s like Friday and will spend time sleeping after work because it’s weekend! But no, tomorrow going to be the same old routine, and it’s worst than Friday the 13th.

Anyways, this happened to be the day I get to decide if I really need a new phone (since my celphone was stolen), check all my debts and expenses, how much I’m earning and how much more I need, to support my wants, needs and my family. I stopped and got stuck thinking how to earn extra cash…even on my day-offs. I checked my email and thought of reapplying as a part-time staff writer on this particular site. Earning a thousand to four thousand in a month is not that bad. Atleast I can still save more money and send some to mama.

Oh, talk about saving moolah, here’s some things I ditch, to save money:
1. Starbucks drinks – I only go to any Starbucks store to burn my lungs along with my friends, but didn’t really order some drinks and/or food. One drink (tall or Grande) in a week will do, and that’s P750 of savings a week, for a P150 worth (min) per coffee/iced tea.
2. Food at the Pantry – It’s just expensive! That’s it!!
3. Buying a Pack of Cigarette – whether that be half a pack or by 20s or 30s, I just stopped buying by pack! Not just it’s costing me much, but I get to regulate my smoking habits from frequent, to not so frequent! Hahaha
4. Booze – I can’t even remember the last day I drink much alcohol with my friends…or even by myself! I’m totally alcohol free for a month or more!Ü
5. Taxi/Cab ride to and fro the office – Alas! Since my new place is a tricycle ride away from our office, there’s really no need to hail a cab….unless I’m going to take a ride with my roomies!! Hehehe
6. Mcdonalds! - it's been like a week since i bought food at McDo and it helped a lot while my wallet is on a strict diet! I was able to save P50 (at least) a day and i think i'm getting healthier than i think I am!Ü

Listen, think and talk...

"Those who know don’t speak, and those who speak don’t know" – Lao Tzu

In this generation of which people’s opinion matters, most of us are abusive on the freedom that we have. We comment on what we see, smell, hear, taste or feel even if it doesn’t make a lot of sense at all. We tend to be irrational and irresponsible at times, and most of the time does that, simply to have fun of someone. With this, our out-spoken opinion could lead to good or bad judgment.

The phrase "I’m entitled to my opinion" is overrated! But most of us do is talk before we think. A word said can be fatal than a sword – so it wouldn’t be bad if we be rational first before we said a word. When we’re emotional, we lose the most common of all senses and neglect the fact that people who said something mean to us have feelings too, so firing negative words as revenge only leads to a cycle of pain.

I’m not saying we should suppress our thoughts or feelings; it’s a matter of being responsible on the privilege that we have. It’s more of being mindful on every word that we say. Tone and timing is the key. We are responsible on everything we say, and if we become responsible on what we say, we become good listeners, thus can lead to proper communication.

One thing I’ve learned is, before you say something about what the person wears, looks, smell and skin tone…think first if what you’ll say is substantial. True enough: "If you have nothing good to say, better keep your mouth shut!". Empty words only come from an empty mind.

Can’t make her say “yes” for a date?

I have few guy friends who are still single for only two reasons: either by choice or no girls want to be in a relationship with them! Of course, as most guys say, it’s their choice to be single (thanks to their E-G-O), when the fact is, they can’t even have a single date with a girl. Why is this happening?? Then came along the magical-psychotic-thought: "What’s wrong with me?" (c’mon!! you guys DO ask yourself that question! Don’t be such a douche!).

Wondering why until now, you can’t snag a hottie? Ever thought how those "fuggly-looking-guys" get the girls and not you, when you know for yourself that you’re waaaaay better than them (yes I’m boosting your Ego!)? Can’t make the girl that you like say "yes"…even for a date? Geez, there could be something wrong with the way you approach girls, which instead of attracting them to your direction, makes them run AWAY from you!! Now don’t feel bad. There’s still a "cure" on the "don’t-know-how-to-date-her syndrome". Trust me, it ain’t because you’re too torpe or too cool for her, because she didn’t agree to date you. There’s just really something you need to improve on!
I’ve gathered some of my (beautiful) friends’ thoughts on what a better way for a guy to ask a girl out and hopefully you’ll learn from it….you should!

The first move…

"I would like us to be friends first…I don’t date someone I hardly know. If I know the guy asking me for a date, it’s easier to say "yes"…maybe we can start from casual dating.."
- Karen, 26

"I’d say no if I guy asked for a date if he’s just introduced to me (or someone I just met). I want to know him better first before asking me (for a date) and he should be sincere…girls just feel if the guy is sincere or not, instinct na yan!"
- phetsmsfs108se, 27

"It’s better if we’ve been friends for a long time, just to avoid awkward moment and so I can be myself when I’m with him. Plus, the guy need not to put his best foot forward, just to have "pogi points; he does need to feign when dating".
- April, 25

"As long as I’m comfortable with the guy, like if both of us can carry a very interesting conversation, and then I’ll go out with him"
- Aysa, 28

"The guy should know what the girl likes….including her interests"
- Pretty Anonymous, 25


Stop "hitting around the bush"!!

"Say it straight, face to face, be a man and not ask a girl out through IM or Text…(that's me – that’s my major pet peeve)"
- Carmela, 26

"Be straight forward! Yung walang paligoy-ligoy…like "do you want to have coffee or lunch or dinner sometime??" ".
- Jaimee, 24


On the "big night"!!

"PAY FOR EVERYTHING! A guy cannot expect to go dutch on a first, second or even third date, especially when his intention is to impress the girl he likes. The rationale behind this to make the girl feel secure that he can take care and provide for her, as we initially look at people we date around as a potential mate in the future. Once a girl is secure about the guy's sincerity and intentions, she will be the one to either offer to pay or insist on going dutch""
- katastrophic519, 27

"Listen to Her and Ask Questions --- ask her questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. A woman is attracted to a man who is genuinely interested in hearing what she has to say. Spend a lot more time asking her questions and letting her talk than talking more about yourself."
- Diana, 24

"First they have to pay! Then a guy should be sincere, dress appropriately and know what the girl’s interests. Not all first date should be formal, like in a restaurant. It should be more on where the girl will feel comfortable and it should be fun, so we (girls) will have the chance to know the person more".
- Hot Anonymous, 30

"First (i think), guys should always ALWAYS leave their home well-groomed (it's major turn off if the guy asking you out is or looks dugyot (dirty) right?). Second, (i think) it's important to know the girl's (you're asking out) interest so he will know where to take her on a date. Girls, will say yes often if she's interested in your date itinerary (unless he hates to be with the guy!) the guy wouldn’t want to ask a girl to watch a rowdy concert if she would rather watch I nice and quiet play, right?.Third, flattery will go a long way than sarcasm and being rude (girls and i mean ALL, still wanted to receive compliments.). Fourth, never underestimate the power of sense of humor! They (your date) will know that they will jive and actually talk on the duration of the date, rather than just stare at each other. And go on…actually ask her on a date already; you will never know what she'll say unless you do so. If she doesn't want to go, then maybe next time. ;)
- Rhia, 25

Managers beware! Ü

A forwarded email that i find really funny:


THE BEST RESIGNATION LETTER EVER

**Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!

Dear Mr. Baker,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers.

Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment". I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator.

Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day,
Cecilia




ME: **yikes!!**

Lonesome tonight?

Loneliness is always been everybody’s (one of) main personal issue. Being in a relationship tends to measure ones hotness, appeal to opposite sex, self confidence and social values, whether that be in a good or complicated relationship.

Nowadays, they say being single is a sign that someone knows what he or she wants and how to get it, it’s a sign that single people don’t settle for something less and knows they deserve something worth the wait, it could also mean that single people have more time to enjoy life more than those in a relationship. Well for me, I find this a lie!

Some opted to be single because they simply having fun not being tied to somebody, and enjoys having "fling" with someone….to mind you, "fling" is a relationship, also known as being friends with benefits with someone. Still, single people dating anybody they like or want for that matter, is unaware that they are starting to build relationship with someone; they are not just tied to them like those who have a serious relationship with. They have freedom to choose, and that freedom makes it different from other relationships some have. For some, they even consider themselves to be in a "complicated" relationship. Sorry, but for me people who are engaged to this set-up are more likely insecure of themselves or could be taking revenge on bad past they have. They don’t get tired playing around simply because they always find flaws, either on themselves or the person they are seeing. This statement only goes for players out there, stating they are single while making other weep without being aware of it. Again, singles who are love to mingle and flirt around with anybody they like are players.

Some people are love chasers. They are those who are the "players" victim. They are single because they think, all the person so go out with or met, don’t like them. They are those who often think "I may not be the right one for you, but someone is out there who will love me back!". They are pretty strong and never get tired on seeking the right one. They are those who are "pretty close on finding the right one", but still end their nights alone.

Hopeless romantics are often single too. They are the ones always waiting for someone who will make them whole, who will help them find the value of themselves and will make them see stars and fireworks every time they go out with someone. No sparks means no love for them. They rely more on happy endings (which by the way, ever lasting love only works if both couple are dead and spending time in heaven), prince charmings and beautiful princesses. Hopeless romantics always end up with the wrong one, like those Love chasers…and often ask themselves "why?". Then again both of them have in common, they are this close on meeting the right one for them…they only have to waste time with the wrong ones.

And there are some singles that just enjoy the life they live in! They go out with their friends, consider dates as a "bonus" on their weekend schedule, appreciate their family more because they spend more time with them and of course, starting to love themselves simply because they know they will find the good one for them (take note: not the right one) and they know for themselves that they can spend time with the wrong ones, but not really waste their time for them. They have more life than the players, love chasers and hopeless romantic have. Then again, they end up alone, maybe because they enjoy their own life so much, they unaware that they are not letting someone take a peek on their adventurous, often busy life! Worst is, they still feel alone, for they have been single for eons!

So what really makes someone feel less lonesome? The key is, loneliness don’t rely on someone’s affection alone. If you are to tell me I’m wrong…think how many divorce or annulments are being process by lawyers every single day? How many couples are wasting money for couples’ therapy? Not to mention all couples separating without any professional help. Point is, being single does make someone feel alone, but it’s only a matter of having a balance life so single person won’t feel lonely at all.

People should shrug off the idea that lonesome gauges someone’s weight, number of friends or sex appeal. It’s a matter of learning how to love, be loved and finding love without doing any desperate moves. It’s learning self acceptance and appreciating life. Someone status is an option…so does loneliness.

A Tourist's Letter

The moment i logged in to my computer, i saw this email that caught my attention, because for once, someone who's really on the crime scene made a statement which will help everyone understand the gunman's concerns. I just don't understand why some innocent tourist had to hear and understand his cries, which his fellow colleagues missed to do.



Postcripts To A BloodBath


Mr. Mendoza was already upset even before he saw on television what the policemen did to his brother. The other tourists who remained inside the bus were complaining. Wei Ji Jiang wanted to go to the bathroom. Dao Chi Yu was hungry and the rest were just groaning and whining like they have forgotten that our lives rest in Mr. Mendoza's hands.

The hostage taker, as you know him was really nice. He treated us okay and even let the elders and the children leave the bus. He said your policemen treated him unfairly. He was a policeman too and was accused of doing something he had no knowledge of. But your government didn't listen so he used us to get everyone's attention.

Things would have never turned for the worst if he didn't see how his family was dragged out of their house and taken into custody. He was watching the news all the time as we huddled around each other behind the bus. He shouted some words in your language then started shooting in the air. A girl about my age started screaming. Mr. Mendoza demanded her to stop but she didn't understand English. God, he had to slash her neck with a knife just to put her to rest. Her boyfriend who tried to hit him was shot in the head.

Tension was rising. You can see in his face how scared and confused he was. The bus driver ran away leaving him alone with strangers from a distant land. I can see him walking across the aisle, sometimes pointing his machine gun to one of the tourists. But he tried his best not to hurt us, especially those who really cooperate.

I guess its in your nature not to inflict pain on others unless it was necessary. I remember him saying that he will free us before sundown and implored us to forget everything when we return home. But his words don't matter now. The policemen were trying to force their way in, while we all lied down to shield ourselves from bullets. Mister Mendoza blindly shoots at his enemies which I think kept them from rescuing us. I hear sobs under the chairs. Some were even shouting the names of their loved ones even when the air merely eat their words. Kevin Tang tried to escape when the glass door was was shattered, but one shot and he slumped on the floor with blood gushing from his mouth.

Heavy rain pitter-pattered on the rooftop. In old Chinese saying, it means an end to a struggle. Finally, somebody was able to open the escape hatch at the back of the bus. Freedom. But I knew Mister Mendoza was still alive. I knew he was just waiting for a chance to strike back at his enemies. So I told those around me not to escape. Let the authorities come for us instead. Then there was gunfire. He was firing at his enemies with a machine gun. Those who were at the escape hatch fled abandoning us once again. It's like a nightmare with no end and to wake up means a certain death. Then somebody from outside the bus threw a canister. It forced out a black smoke that is so painful to the eyes and putrid smelling to the nose. People started screaming. We cannot breathe. Some ran in front of the bus but Mister Mendoza warned them of stray bullets. It was too late. One was hit on the head, the other was hit on the shoulders. Bullets were now flying. Its like the authorities thought we were all dead. Mister Mendoza finally admits his mistake and said sorry to everyone, dead or alive. He then ran towards the front of the bus where he would meet his maker. As he passed by my chair with bullets whistling overhead, I clutched my hand on the velvet curtain and wrapped it around my face. All I could think of was to stay alive for my child who is waiting for me back in Xinjang. I know I will survive,

I will come home.

Bang Lu Min Survivor, Quirino Bloodbath


Grabbed from yahoo news/philippines.

A thing from my past

I'm cleaning my stuff, as i prepare to move to my new place and lo and behold! i found my journal dated year 2006! I read through all the dramas and nonsensical stuff in my life when i'm few years younger and here's one entry i would like to share: (unedited)



Feb 15, 2006 - Wednesday



Dear Gryz,



So how's your day? I heard a lot of things happened to you today. I heard that you cry a lot because first, you feel that nobody really cares about you, that it seems like that you're worst than an orphaned kid and second, because you still feel bad to your mama. Well, honestly you seem pissed off with your life that i often hear you ask, or better say, plea God to take your life right now. I feel sad for you. I know you hate being sorry for yourself or other people feeling sorry for you, but the truth is - I really am feeling so sorry for you to every single bad - or worst thing that's happening in your life.

Well dear, first...you're not a kid anymore, so don't feel like an abandoned KID! 2 more days and you'll be 21; that will be ths start to prove them that "Hey! you're one smart ass and can stand on your own!". The more you get older, the bigger your responsibilities, the bigger responsibility..the worst life gets. You just have to accept it and be prepared. You can do great girl! Second, your mama is already paying the price on the life she choose. You've shared a piece of your pie, laid down your cards and that made you feel better, while she's feeling terribly bad. Does saying what you've been keeping for a long time loosen the situation? Honestly, i also don't know. Besides, that's the life she want; no matter what excuse she said and even if she seems like she don't want to do anything to make it better, then let her be where she wants to be.

You've said what you think she should and should not do, and let her decide whether to accept it or not. If being with you is not her option at all, then you just have to be thankful because whether you like it or not, she still helped you on her own little ways, she's still your mama and God used her to show you how beautiful HIS creations are. Instead of being fretting, just be thankful; in this case, it will make your life not that worst. About your stepfather, don't let your hate over him drown you. This will cause you terrible result in yourself and life as a whole.

I've also heard that you talked to your Auntie Lily in Manila, and discussed something about religion and faith in God. To be honest, I don't see you having strong faith on HIM and struggle a lot in knowing who HE is in your life. Still groping in the dark? Why Gryz? I don't really see you that "attached" to HIM and most of the time, you let devil get over you, when you know that it shouldn't be. You're still weak, vulnerable, naive...stupid...anything i can describe about you and your heart. How can you achieve eternal life without God in your heart? Geez...now we're getting serious here!Ü...I just hope that it wouldn't be too late for you to "find" HIM.

Uhmm..about your wish for being a photographer, I think you should start doing something about it. The earlier you start, the farther you get. Strt working on what you love the most - start working to reach your goal. Don't mind those people who's pulling you down - someday, you can prove something to them and that alone will make them feel sorry for doing that to you...the best part of this is: you'll prove them wrong!

Smile! Shit happens!!Ü. Just thank God for every small and great things that happened today. Oh by the way...Good news, congratulations! You've survived!!

What a dreadful day!

I feel so tired today and i almost cried because of the things that are going through in my life.

Fuck! i don't know what to do or where to begin. It's just making me crazy the past few days and i thought that if only i have saved enough cash, i will not go through this dilemma!

Hais...i'm just looking forward to get over this feeling and start a new life!

There's only one thing to say: "it's hard to find a home!".

A letter for Someone

Dear ME,

I heard that you feel really low lately and you were pulling yourself down too much. I know it hurts when you know that no one around you will like you for who you are, but seriously, you don’t need to change yourself for someone to like you. You don’t have to see yourself as someone as ugly as an ogre.

My dear, stop searching and waiting for the prince to save you from despair and for a happy ending; that I guess does not exist and you know that yourself. You are the one who will make your own happy ending, with or without someone to give you love’s promises.

I think you should also stop thinking no one will see your worth, simply because you don’t believe that you’re beautiful, as what others think of you. I know deep inside you, you are pretty. You just need to accept that, so people will see you, the way you want them to.

I guess what you really need to do is start to have real activities that will enhance your talent (I know you have one! C’mon!!). Smoke & drink less; sleep well; do anything that will make you feel better.

Stop feeling bad…stop pretending you’re ok. Just move on with life the way you should and be more productive! Ü

A lesson from a teenager

I've read Diary of A young Girl - Anne Frank again and it never fail to inspire me.

It reminds me of my teenage years and 9years after, i suddenly realized that I've done so many disappointing stuff and that made me feel ashame of my self. If only I can go back in time or probably talk to the old me again, the only word i may utter is "sorry".

I would apologize for letting the adventurous me turned to a lazy lass. I would apologize for being selfish. I'll apologize for being compulsive from time to time and for being careless when it comes to handling my earning. Most of all, I'll be sorry for letting my dreams die a tragic death.

I can't complain, I have no right to complain. I can't just sit in one dark corner of a room and be and feel sorry for the rest of my life. Lesson is learned. I guess it's not to late for me to do what my heart desires.

True that i can't really turn back time & what I can do now is use all the things I've learned to something beneficial, not just to myself and for my family as well. The best I can do is move on. Live & Learn. Have fun. Enjoy every single thing that God provides me.

Lucky Me!! :P

Dear Friends,

I would like you to know that I'm so lucky to have you guys. I'm not really blessed with a good family but you are my lucky charm and helped me have directions in life. You all taught me and keep on teaching me from what's right from wrong and what i love the most about you was you've been honest to me. I thank God everyday for giving me wonderful friends as a gift.

:-)

Glee = Happy

Since the intense heat made it hard for me to sleep after work, i decided to spend time on watching Glee again.

The first four episodes are fun and if only i don't have work the next day, i'll end up watching season 1 in a day!

Glee reminds me of my high school days, sans the fact that i have to be on a singing club or "choir". I'm not even the dumb-pretty-cheerleader or part of the invisible group of students who are bullied around by mean students. What i realized is all my hopes and dreams are passing me by as i allow myself be stuck on this job.

High school life is where you try to unravel who you really are and what role you want to play on the society. It's the time of my life where I'm fearless; chasing everything and making sacrifices, thinking that it's a way for me to be what i wanted to be. I've always wanted to be a writer...then i learned the ropes of photography and dreamed of one of the best photographer in the country. I also had the opportunity to make short film and badly dreamed of creating my own film or even some music videos. I once had fun staying on a radio station and play music listeners requested for and decided that it's not that bad to be a local radio dj. Yet until now, it all remains a dream.

Some of the things i've learned on Glee are first, don't let age hinder you on reaching your dream; you might be the next big thing on your chosen field. Second: don't let allow people or someone to pull you down; pick yourself up, love who you are and be true. Third: you don't have to ruin someone to prove that you're good. THe most important is: Have fun!

There's more I can do in my life than to earn big bucks and rot. Sometimes i forget that the world is my playground...I just need to have fun from time to time.

Wheatgrass aftermath..

I'm not really a diet fab, but when my friend offered me this "wheatgrass diet", i just went to "ok-imma-give-it-a-try" mindset. When i googled the wheatgrass effect, i'm pretty amazed on the benefits of it and the part i like the most is, it will help you remove all the toxins on your body. It supposed to make one's skin look better and make you lose weight.

I don't really aim to lose more weight, yet i still decided to give it a shot.

After a week of drinking wheatgrass...lo and behold! I can't say no to foods and i started craving for Krispy Kreme's honey glazed doughnut, Razon's or Chowking's Halo-halo and frozen yoghurts....and more!!! I can eat 5 big meals a day and i don't mind getting a big tummy as long as i'm satisfied with all the food i eat. I even had my extra serving of rice after 5 years!!!

I only have 13 packs of wheatgrass to consume for 13 days; yet if it won't help slow down my appetite after a week, i might end up drinking it once a week instead of consuming a pack everyday.

I told my friend the major effect of wheatgrass to me and he said maybe it's just on my mind or more of a "psychological effect". Ooooohh!! I hope soo!!!

Just an update...

I guess the hardest part of someone’s life is restricting themselves from their innermost talent just to earn enough money to satisfy their needs and provide all their wants.

I never felt bad working on a call center for many reasons. This is my first job and on 3yrs of working on the same BPO company, I learned a lot & I know it made me a better, if not the best, person just the way my family expect me to be. I learned the value of respect, teamwork, saving money, saving time, self & work reliance. I’ve seen the effect of having work values & disregarding job ethics. I had and still having a glimpse of how politics works on each of our workstations, it sucks but I guess it has been part of every workers lives. I’ve seen the best and worst part of me when it comes to doing my job…my favorite part? Going to work but not really doing my job!

Amidst all of these, I still feel incomplete. I’m working for money; I think all of us are. Then again, I really envy those earn bucks and seriously love their job. It can be tiring yet they don’t see their job as a very tedious thing in the world.
I think I just need sometime to find myself…..25 years and still lost, what’s the good in that huh?!

I need to set-aside my fears, my endless "what if’s?" and seriously stop thinking that I’m only good on what I’m doing right now. I know there will be hindrances along the way.
One thing I’ve learned though, you’ll know if you’re effectively doing something when people are criticizing you..