Anything Goes

It’s when I’m on the deepest of all deep that I appreciate myself as a human.
The tears, frown, pain….all these makes me human.
All the imperfections in life epitomize my own mirror.
I can’t do something perfect like what some people expect me to be. I’m doing a good job at the moment I didn’t expect myself to have an outcome of something good as they said; then I walked away! I didn’t see it that way…I never did anyhow.

Call me manhid…stupida…I don’t freaking care!

Careless…that’s the state of mind I have at this moment. I don’t want to think of what people around me will say or think of. Let them blabber behind me…they can even kiss my ass and I don’t freaking mind.

I’m busy right now. Busy burning my lungs, busy drinking till I drop, busy updating my online accounts, busy watching t.v., busy taking a nap/sleeping at the office and busy thinking when will I be seriously busy.

*buzzzz*

In-2-it....goodbye i guess...

I decided to just stay in our apartment and give myself a break in contemplating what has happened to me these past few days and what will I have to do these coming days.

The farewell I’ve been waiting for just happened….almost.

Most of my friends said the decision I made was wrong….real one’s said, if that what my heart desires. Seriously, I no longer know what my heart desires. I’ll no longer be selling software over the phone but I will still somehow take calls.

“easy come, easy go….”

I only got one way ticket out of the account, and as much as I want to be back, I can’t….or should I say they will no longer allow me to. This is something I really wanted to do, but why am I not that really happy about this?

FLOATING…I’m just floating..

Remember this:

My current joB as they say is a no-brainer job.

I used to agree with that, but after 2 years of working here, i just learned that interacting with people of different race and hitting some numbers to survive requires skills and yes, it will make your mind twist from time to time . Well, it all depends on the account though.

To those who still think call canter agents are wasting their talents, well that's true, i won't disagree with that, but hey, i get to learn things that will equipt me from venturing on the profession i really like to be part of. Values is part of it. Boosting one's self-esteem is another thing, knowing what's right and wrong and ofcourse not letting anybody bully you around ... ehem, bukod sa mga gullible ha! hehehe

Not quitting...just moving on...

When one of my good boss rendered her resignation, i asked her almost all the questions she threw at me during the moment i'm giving her my own resignation letter.

"Bakit mo kami iiwan?"
"bakit ka aayaw?"
"San ka pupunta pag nag-resign ka?"
"Why will you quit?"

All she said was, "hindi naman kita iiwan eh...and i'm not quitting, i'm moving on...". I thought it was just one of her silly excuse just for me to stop asking her questions and a hint that she's really decided and not a single soul can stop her.

Yet now, I'm starting to fully understand her. Quitting is only the thing done by those who don't want to face challenges in life; it's true that quitters are losers. They just give up simply because they want to.

Moving on is a different story. One has faced the challenges, got beaten, somehow won the gameand along the process didn't see the purpose of staying and fighting. The reasons one thought of could alter, and find the real value of what one is doing changed along the hardships faced. Then when one moves on, they drop their weapons and get a different weapon to use for another battle.

Bobo state of mind... Lesson for 10/06/08

It scares me a lot if my learning process in life tends to slow down or worst, stopped.

I just learned something na pwedeng magamit araw-araw at hindi na rin kailangan gumastos... allergic na ako sa gastos lately, especially Christmas is fast approaching.
This past few days or let's say months, i did nothing but complain and rant, which i learned that it's something or an attitude that i should never live with.
Madalas kasi, before i try anything, whether in work or simple things sa apartment, ang dami ko ng complains sa buhay...bonggang-bonggang rant na ang inaabot ng bawat umaga or gabi ko araw-araw, take note i haven't done anything yet ha.
With this attitude i have for a month or so, my life gone crazy. Problems just starts to flood in till one day, i, myself is drowned on the issues i created in my life.
Then i got fed up as well. Complaining a lot is a waste of energy and i wasted a lot alady.

This could be a good start...

Then one day, should i say, one night, i decided that it will be a "complain free day" for me and i got pretty surprised by the result. Behind the clouds of customers gone wild, stress in work, thinking of bills to pay and worrying of the salary i'm getting every pay day and other boo-boos, there's a rainbow of small yet positive things life humbly give me: the food i eat on our table..including my lunch at the office, for having the ability to find a job than to bum around, a mother who takes great care of me than being alone...these and more are wonderful things God give me every single day of my life. Though there are still moments i tend to cry and, oh well, hate myself for all the "bobo things" i've done yet i didn't let my day end just like that! Positivity will always be there, one should just learn how to appreciate it.

I know there still a box full of surprises for me, waiting to unravel.

Complain free of a day is such a relief...plus i get to think straight and starts to be rational in every not so good things unexpected along the way... Ü

Something to laugh at...

****Class Photograph****

The children had all been photograph, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you're all growing up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's lawyer', or 'That's Micheal, he's a doctor'."
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there is the teacher..... she's dead!"