Whew! To be or Not to be?!

I can’t remember when was the last time I run through this feeling and I have to admit that it is something I really don’t want to see myself at this moment or maybe few years from now. There are so many things I have to do in my life and I still have to make up with all the mistakes I’ve done for myself, and all the craps.
I’ve been in the stage of denial and other sort of lies these past few years of my life. Fears keep on conquering me that I even thought that people that goes to this baloney emotions is just for the sake of having fun. I used to find it really nonsense to accept someone as somebody that you wish to spend with for the rest of their lives, when in reality, till death do us part promises are often written in the sand. It’s just a fairy tale in a little girls dream, that prince charmings are frogs when kissed and happily ever afters are only be found in books.
Yet now, things are turning upside down. My believes are gone with the wind.
After so many years, this is the only time where, again, I’m starting to feel something I fear to feel. Someone makes my heart beat really fast, and it’s true indeed that wobbling knees does happened. I felt all this when I saw him…
Can this be it???

There Oh!Ü

I started making my own scrapbook! Finally after a few months of thinking whether I’ll make or leave my pictures on my website, I finally decided to compile them and make a scrapbook! I’ll be needing to do some brief research on how things to be done properly, like what kind of materials to use, from printing my pictures, kind of papers to use, trinkets to place on each pages, themes, format, designs even to the sticky-glue..or whatever it is that will make my stuff be in its proper places!
I thought it’s easy, only to find out that it’s not! Hahaha
Being "maarte" takes a lot of effort! Whew! Yet it’s ok, it’s my stress reliever as well and a good past time.
When everything is working and looking fine already, I’ll post it here and share it with you guys! Ü

*got photo at http://www.thebouncespot.com/v1/files/images/scrapbook_addict_logo.jpg

AN OPEN ADVICE ABOUT CAREER DECISIONS

I just want to share this to you guys. It's a forwarded mail i recieved and this makes lots of sense for those who are dying to quit thier jobs for whatever reason:


AN OPEN ADVICE ABOUT CAREER DECISIONS
Several of my staff has approached me lately about their career decisions. I really appreciate my staff opening up to me. It is quite reassuring to know that they're still having second thoughts about leaving. Here is part of the email I sent to a "confused" staff: I have worked for more than 5 companies already so I guess you might be correct in saying I have had considerable experience about leaving and moving on. I will not stop you nor tell you to leave, though of course it will be better if you stay. In any career decision, leaving or staying I believe, based from my personal experiences and as an HR professional, should only be done for the right reasons.For one, you shouldn't leave because you don't like several people in the company, nor should you stay because of the friends you have made here. At the end of the day, it is your life. Your friends or "enemies" should not make or break your career. If you let them be the deciding factor, then maybe you should think twice. You are the craftsman of your fate and the captain of your ship. Captain Hook shouldn't be one of your worries!Do not leave nor stay because of the "brand" of your company. If that was the case, I would have rushed off and sign my JO in "C"! Ask yourself whether you want to be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a bigger pond. Know your priorities. Only you can answer that. Do not leave the company because you're so damn frustrated about the way things are being run, or stay because you have this "messianic complex" that you can change things overnight. Be realistic about thethings.
Learn to accept that there is no perfect company. Be accepting that change is a slow and painful process at times and be thankful that you realize and act on things that can be changed and improved. Definitely, do not leave or stay just because your parents want you to. I know I am advocating obedience to parents but again, we are talking about YOUR career. But learn to value their wisdom and discern well. Money isn't everything. The package being offered now might be better but look at the long-term prospects. Do not leave or stay just solely on the compensation package. Look for growth prospects and review their career plans for you. Your immediate gains today might actually be a loss a few years from now if you do the Math.Boredom is another challenge all professionals are faced with during lull periods in their career. Do not leave because you have become sobored with your job. Do not stay either because you want things as they are. Change is inevitable in any organization. Talk to your boss. Ask for more responsibilities or other tasks if you're bored. Enroll in a special course. If you're satisfied with the status quo and is just waiting for retirement hoping things will stay the same, you're in for a big disappointment - either you will be forced to change or you will be forced to leave. Be ready before that time comes. Boredom or complacency is aperennial battle most professionals have to deal with. Arm yourself with creativity everyday!Tonight I suggest you rest well. Sit still and listen to what He is saying. PRAY. I have always made my career decisions through His guidance. He was and still is my Career Adviser/Talent Manager. Your work, our work, is a vocation. He knows us more than we know ourselves so trust Him for whatever plans He has for you. You can never go wrong.

HELLO! Ü: First stage to Adulthood...

HELLO! Ü: First stage to Adulthood...

First stage to Adulthood...

A part of me is kinda’ excited and another part is skeptic. Oh geez…few more hours and my plans will be then executed. How well it will go through I have no freaking idea!!
It’s a risk and at this point I’m just hoping the man I resent the most will not show up on our doorstep and just wreck every little things I’ll do for the two person I love the most. What the creep, I’m dying to show everybody around me that I will be able to do things on my own! At this very moment as I compose this blog, lots’a thoughts running in my head! No matter how hard I try to unpack and throw all the negative baggage off my head, they just keep on squeezing their way in!
My family and I will start from scratch! As in all my salary will be allotted to our expenses in our food, apartment bills, bills, bills, bills and more bills!!! I kinda’ like the thought of it because it makes me feel more grown up. Less gimiks with friends, less night-outs and outings! Less thoughts about just myself and it’s like a practice for the future when I’m about to start my own family…oh yes I even thought of having a family of my own! Wahahahhaa!!
When we had the place fixed and everything is going smoothly, I’ll take a picture of our apartment. It’s not that classy, but it’s neat though. I guess that’s what we needed since we’re just starting.
Wooohooo!! God Bless Us!!!

Thinking Positive

I'm about to make a decision that will change my life forever. At this moment, i just want to drench my problems away with alcohol..something that will make me forget all the pain I'm feeling and about to face. I sacrificed almost everything: my singlehood, my career, the people who raised me are just some on my list. I'm even stuck on a job I never really see myself doing just for me to be with my love ones..my mom and my brother.
I'm having the freedom of doing what i want: chilling out with my friends, buying things I never had, going to places i've never been and partying till five in the morning. I'm doing all these because i know, sooner or later, all these will end. My money and time are just for myself, and now is the time to share it with my "family". I'm going to do this though I'm uncertain if i'll be able to make it in the end; though she really didn't raised me as what all mothers should do, I want to do my part as what a daughter should to her parents: FACE RESPONSIBILITIES WITH ALL GUTS. Though my brother hardly knew me at all and vice versa, I still want to play the role of a big sister that he can always lean on and pick a fight with.
All my life i'm facing expectations and unbearable rejections. I was able to give myself a break for almost a year. Now, I'm going to embrace more of what i have right now. My road is no longer leading on my own accord; it all leads to where I will see them happy. I don't want to break my promise to my mom. I want to show her that I'm far way better than she thought I am. She never believed in me..I knew it, for if she did she will hold on to the promise I made her 16 years ago, when i was in grade school, where I expect only us will be together, not letting go of our dreams..until she gave up first. She left me on my relatives care, let them groom me, while she decided to live with a man that make her life a living hell.
People around me, especially my relatives, stops me from doing this, but I'm taking the risk. I have a promise to keep, one thing my mom never did. Honestly, I have lots of hesitations in mind, so many what-if's, negativities and other unnecessary blah blah. If any of them ruin my plans, my life will be ruined too. Yet i know God will never abandon me. If i run out of food to eat, courage, faith, hope, will to stand and i wasn't able to feel love and care as what i've shown them, it's ok, God will never abandon me. God will provide me bunch of those. Nothing to lose though..

HELLO! Ü: To Those Who Play Favoritisms...

HELLO! Ü: To Those Who Play Favoritisms...